Worthy of Redemption Read Online Free Page A

not going to tell you that you will feel better after you get some sleep, or that in weeks from now it won’t still be your first thought when you wake or the last thought before you fall asleep.” She looked at the floor between us. I saw her swallow hard before speaking again. “It can be…two years later and you think you’re fine, but you can wake up one morning and boom…there it is again. Feeling just as fresh as it did the day everything fell to shit.”
    I’ll never forget that moment. It was the very moment that I really did see through Lily’s appearance and saw the hurting human woman. I never argued that I was a dick, but I wasn’t heartless. I couldn’t overlook Lily’s pain when we were the only two people in the room having a very candid conversation. Seeing her pain, however magnified my own, and my anger flashed.
    “So, you’ve been heartbroken,” I snapped. “Though you won’t say so. But I’m sure that you didn’t beat a helpless pregnant woman while you were fucked up on meth and alcohol. I’m sure that you didn’t break that same woman’s wrist while in a rage because she tried to purge you from her system by trying to fuck another guy. I’m sure you didn’t force that woman into a dy sfunctional relationship with you out of selfishness, stretching her thin, wearing her down, and fucking her up piece by piece. You’re only brokenhearted, Lily. My heart is shattered and on top of that I have to carry the fucking enormous burden of my own guilt and self-hatred!”
    She stared up at me with her eyes wide in shock and her mouth hanging open.
    “I don’t even know if her baby is okay,” I pushed on, though I shamefully felt my voice trembling. “I could have killed him – both of them!”
    I was the one who just yelled, but Lily was breathless when she spoke. “Did…were you on drugs when you broke her wrist?”
    “Yes, but that doesn’t excuse it, Lily,” I growled.
    “No,” she agreed in a whisper while shaking her head. “It doesn’t excuse it.” She turned away from me, but not before I saw two tears slip down her cheek.
    “Where are my keys?” I demanded.
    She turned back to look at me with a startled expression. “Why?”
    “Because they are my damn keys and I want them.” I held my hand out. She looked at it like it was diseased.
    “I’m not giving you your keys.” She looked at me dubiously.
    “This is the last time I’m saying it, Lily. Give me. My fucking. Keys.”
    She narrowed her teary eyes. “No.”
    I closed the distance between us with two strides. I stood so close to her, I could feel her hurried breathing as her chest rose and fell against mine. She boldly met my eyes and stood stock still as I ran my hands over her generous hips and over the front pockets of her jeans. To be thorough, I pushed my hands into her pockets in search of my keys. Her breath hitched, but she didn’t look away from me. I pulled out what felt like a small wad of cash, probably her tips for the night. I let it fall to the floor and reached back in and pulled out what must have been her license and maybe a credit or debit card. Her other pocket was empty. I slowly moved my hands back over her hips to her ass. As I ran my hands over her back pockets, I boldly squeezed her ass with both hands. She inhaled sharply and I heard her swallow hard, but she still didn’t look away from me. I slid my hands back up her ass and into her pockets, but only produced a pack of gum from one pocket and several small pieces of paper and a few business cards from the other.
    I broke eye contact first. I felt her blow out warm air onto my chest in relief, but it was short lived when I held up the papers and business cards.
    “Someone is busy collecting numbers during her nights at work,” I said mockingly.
    “I’m ‘brokenhearted’. Not celibate,” she bit back.
    “Oh, so you’re not looking for romance with any of these men. None of them are me,” I smiled without humor when she