Whittaker 03.5 If Nothing Changes Read Online Free Page A

away that I didn’t think he could have overheard our low conversation, but maybe he’d guessed. Or maybe he could read lips. Or maybe it was just his time to cry.
    I promised myself a visit with him as soon as I finished with Nan. I didn’t know if he’d be willing to talk to me, especially after I brought up hospitalization, which I planned on. It looked like a psych ward stay might be advisable. Someone had to bring it up and, like Sue said, it was in my line.
    Even though the last time we’d talked he’d said he was afraid to leave the club, I’d believed him when he’d denied wanting to hurt himself. He’d been too adamant, too appalled at the notion. Of course, he could have been a great actor. Alcoholics are known for that skill. But despite his wretchedness, my gut had told me he wasn’t contemplating suicide.
    But why “afraid,” then? He’d used that word. If he wasn’t afraid of hurting himself, what - or who - did he fear? Did he know something more about Jillian’s murder than he’d let on? Was he trying to stay in public among witnesses? That hadn’t worked for Jillian, although considering the supply closet a public area was debatable.
    Jay had said something else, too, when he’d talked about being afraid to leave. He’d referred to the club as a sanctuary. A strange choice of words. I should have asked him about it, but I’d been so focused on the potential for self-harm I’d missed the chance.
    Sanctuary …
    Rhonda pushed through the club’s double doors, catching sight of Sue and me. She didn’t smile, but her face registered two degrees less hostile, so I knew she was glad to see us. She got a cup of coffee and came over.
    “ Hey, Letty, remember when you were asking about Roger?”
    I’d given up on that line, especially since no one I’d asked had seen him around for several weeks. No one had remembered him the night of the Halloween party, either.
    “ He’s in jail,” Rhonda said. “For beating up his landlord. Guy showed up to get the rent, and Roger was drunk. The neighbor lady heard the commotion and ran out and hit Rog over the head with her nine-iron. Gave him a concussion, too. Do you think it’s too late for me to learn golf?”
    The room started clearing as the open speaker meeting began. Jay stayed put, his head buried in his hands. It sounded like he’d stopped crying, but I couldn’t be sure.
    “ You guys going to the meeting?” Rhonda said.
    “ Not tonight,” I said. “I’m waiting for the Al-Anon meeting to end so I can talk to Nan.”
    “ Good luck. She hasn’t been around. I heard from a friend of her sponsor that she’s not doing very well and that she’s saying she won’t come back. She’s too embarrassed. Someone said she’s even kicking Lover Boy out.”
    My eyes met Sue’s. “So, she did find out about Quinn and Jillian then.”
    “ That, and the cops have been talking to her,” Rhonda added.
    “ They think she killed Jillian?” Sue asked.
    “ I heard she was following Jillian around after the whole Shayla thing. Showing up here about five minutes after Jillian came in and stuff like that. She couldn’t exactly follow her into the meetings, the A.A. ones, I mean, but she waited out here for Jillian to come back out.”
    I turned back to Sue. “See? She’s angry at Jillian, not Shayla. How does that make sense?”
    “ Jillian was a threat,” Sue said. “She could ignore Shayla like all the others.”
    “ Was Nan at the dance?” I said to Rhonda. I couldn’t put aside the notion that Nan could have been in costume. If Sue hadn’t already told me that it had been Jay dressed up as a sheep, I wouldn’t have recognized him in that get up. I hadn’t even recognized Jillian when I’d found her lying there on the floor. Of course, her face was distorted and that thin, purple line circling her neck had been a tad distracting.
    I frowned. Something about that purple band … and costumes … But Rhonda was going on and I had to