equally bright and orderly, and a stairway led upwards to the chambers. These too were bright, the beds and chests hung with finely sewn tapestries. Kai could not resist going over to examine one, which showed a stag hunt in a forest. Dame Maria came and stood behind her, touching the tapestry with one gentle finger.
‘I made that for Philip when I was waiting for his birth. He loved it very much, and used to ask me to make up stories about it.’
She sighed and then went to one of the chests, where she began to pull out some clothes.
‘These are Philip’s. He was a little taller than you but you will grow into them soon enough. The monks will give you a surplice to wear for when you are singing in the church, but these will do for other times. No doubt they will give you a cloak as well, but here, take this in case you need extra warmth.’ She picked up a cloak. ‘See, this is where Philip tore it, trying to climb up one of the walls in the city. He was a wild child.’
‘How did Philip die?’ The question was out of Kai’s mouth before she realised what she had asked. There was silence in the room and Kai felt dreadful. She wanted to know about the boy whose death had made such a change in her life, butnow Dame Maria looked so sad that she felt really bad for her. She wanted to go over to Dame Maria, to hug her, try to make her feel better, but she couldn’t do that. It would not be something a boy would do and it might give away her secret.
Dame Maria smiled sadly and went to the northern window of the room.
‘Come and see. You see the garden and the gate that leads down to the river?’
Kai looked out and saw a garden filled with late summer colour. The apples and pears were beginning to ripen into gold and russet among the green leaves of the trees. There were beds of bright flowers and scented herbs and a stone wall with a gate in it. She could see over the wall to where the river wound its way towards the sea. There was a small rowing boat moored at its edge.
‘He was playing, of course, messing about on the water in his boat. But the boat overturned and he was trapped beneath it. He should not have been out alone. I always told him he should not go out on the water by himself. But that day I was not there to watch. By Jesu, I will never forgive myself for that …’
‘And you have no other children?’
‘No, Philip was an only child. He was all I needed. There are those who told me I should have married again to give him a father and to have other children. But no one couldreplace my Geoffrey. Or my Philip, now. Oh Kai, if you could have seen him. Or heard his voice; his voice was like gold. I have not even a picture to remember how he looked. It is only sometimes, when I hear the choir sing, that I think that I can hear him too … which of course is just my mind playing tricks. But, now, enough of that. What about you, child? Have you been travelling with your father ever since you were born?’
‘As far back as I can remember. My mother died when I was very little so I don’t remember her at all.
Kai was surprised to find that her voice sounded shaky. She was so used to not having a mother that she rarely thought about it. But to have a mother like Dame Maria must have been lovely … She fingered the piece of pink coral on the silver chain, the only thing she had to remember her own mother by. She kept it well hidden under her clothes. It was her most precious possession. Her father had told her that mother had worn it all the time. He had also told her that coral had special powers, and could protect her from disease and harm.
She saw Dame Maria watching her and moved her hand away from her coral. She had to pull herself together. She couldn’t allow herself to cry like a girl.
‘We have travelled all over the place. Not just in Ireland but across to England and even once to France. My father cannot stay still.’
‘You have been to France! You must tell me all about it. You have