When Stars Die (The Stars Trilogy) Read Online Free Page B

burn this jealousy out of me, the jealousy that will eventually have me wishing for Sister Colette’s failure in the next trial. No, I can’t think such wicked thoughts. I have to wish the best for the both of us.
    What I say next comes out defeated. “You were too perfect.”
    Colette cocks her head. “You did well too, Amelia. Everyone but you and I had more than ten lashes.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “I might have been smiling the entire time, but I paid attention too. Whenever a girl did something Mother Aurelia didn’t like, she kept whipping her.”
    “But--”
    She puts a soft finger to my lips. “Ssh. You weren’t perfect, but you were good enough.”
    A heat embraces my cheeks, and the best friend I’ve come to love replaces the burgeoning jealousy. I just want to lie my head on her lap now and let her run her fingers through my hair like she always does whenever I’m stressed. So I fall back against Colette, allowing her clover scent to envelop me. She’s been my dearest friend ever since I came here. Our friendship was immediate. We helped each other through studies, prayers, duties, and even our vows of silence. When we couldn’t speak, we wrote each other letters. When we were in isolation for a month, we tapped our walls to remind each other we were still there, since our cells were side-by-side. And now I must remind myself that if I weren’t sharing a room with her, I probably would have gone madder than Sister Marie.
    I look at her face, finding comfort in her warm smile. “I’m sorry, Colette. I’m just…scared.”
    “So am I, Amelia. So am I.”
    Later, on our way back to our cells, I discover Sash standing next to our room. I gloss over him and look at my door, Colette behind me. He tries to reach out to touch me, but I have hurried into my room before he even gets the chance. A sickening feeling blooms within me. He will not stop following me until he finds out whether or not I truly can see him. Not only do I have to worry about making the Professed Order, but now I have to worry about living to the day of my eventual profession. He might try to get me when I least expect it, like in my sleep. Well, I’m used to little sleep.
    I have to be professed. I have to live to be professed. For Nathaniel.
     

     
    Chapter Three
     
    I jam a piece of wood in the lock with the hope this will keep Sash or Asch or any of the shadows from coming in. This could get me in trouble with Theosodore when he comes to fetch Colette and I for the next trial, but I can lie and say the lock is stuck. In any case, I doubt I’ll be getting much sleep tonight, what with the intense cold searing through the wounds on my back, the stress of vying for a position in the Professed Order, and the gnawing thoughts of those shadows and what they want.
    As I turn around to lie down on my bed, a searing pain icicles through my welts, pushing my knees to the floor. They were treated, but that treatment did not relieve the pain--only prevented the possibility of infection.
    Colette runs over and bends down in front of me. “Are you all right? Do you want my shawl?”
    I shake my head, gritting my teeth against the pain. “How are you tolerating this?” I ask.
    Her eyes widen. “Oh, Amelia, you’re bleeding.” She helps me to my feet and draws me over to her bed, removing my shawl in the process. She unbuttons the back of my gray dress and peels away the fabric. Raw cold assaults the welts, drawing a hiss from me.  “Mine aren’t reacting this poorly. I frankly thought the nurses did a fine job.”
    My heart falls in the burgeoning darkness inside of me. “Marvelous. I know what’s going to remove me from the initiation and that’s a severe infection that will hospitalize me. I might even die from it, or need my back amputated. Can backs even be amputated?”
    Colette presses against my wounds with her shawl. “Don’t talk such nonsense, Amelia. You’ll be fine. They just need to air out and scab