What Happens at Christmas Read Online Free Page B

being scared of coming out—not that I ever had much choice because people always assumed—but you could have talked to me. Even if you hadn’t told anyone else. We were best friends. I can’t believe you didn’t trust me with this.” His voice wobbled with the effort of holding back his emotions.
    “I’m sorry,” Sean said again. “Maybe I should have told you. But I can’t change that now.”
    Justin didn’t answer, and they walked in silence the rest of the way home.
    When they got to Sean’s front door, which was just around the corner from where Justin’s parents lived, they stopped.
    “You said we were best friends,” Sean said, his eyes dark and hard to read in the dimly lit street. “You’re still my best friend. Just so you know.”
    Justin stared at him, taking in the strong features that he knew almost better than his own. The face of the person he’d been half in love with ever since he hit his teens. “You’re mine too,” he finally said. “Even if you’re a fucking idiot for keeping that from me.”
    “I wish I could explain it better.”
    “You don’t need to. I get it, even if I think you’re daft. Now come here, you twat.” He managed a small smile as he stepped closer and pulled Sean into a hug. Sean’s arms closed around him, and the hug went on for a long time. Justin breathed in the scent of Sean’s hair and skin, and his heart clenched. “Welcome to the club, you giant poofter.”
    Sean pulled away, laughing. “Thanks… I think.”
    Justin punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Night, mate.”
    “Night.”
    After that, things had been okay between them on the surface, but the hurt Justin felt had taken a long time to dissipate completely. He couldn’t help torturing himself with what-ifs. How might things have been different if Sean had felt able to tell him? Had Sean ever had feelings for Justin too—might he still? Justin was too scared to ask for fear of what the answer might be. If it was a no, that would sting. But if it was a yes…. Justin wasn’t sure what it would mean for his relationship with his current boyfriend. On balance, he decided it was better not to know.
     
    “Justin?”
    Jess’s voice dragged him back to the present. He blinked at the bright lights in the canteen and breathed in the smell of coffee, the memories fading.
    “Um, yeah. It was mainly to do with his dad, I think. It was a bit of a surprise when he finally told me.”
    She raised her eyebrows. “I bet.”
    “Anyway. Like I said, we’re just friends. I don’t think he’s ever thought about me that way.”
    “Well, let’s hope he can do a good job of pretending he fancies the pants off you at the party, then. I can’t wait to see Andy’s reaction.”
    Justin grinned. “Yeah. I’m hoping it will annoy him a bit. At the very least, it will show him that I’m not moping around at home, crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s every night.”
    “Definitely. I think it’s an excellent plan.”
     
     
    During the week, Justin and Sean settled into a comfortable routine of cohabitation. Justin worked standard nine-to-five hours, and Sean spent his days applying for jobs online. He had told Justin his first choice would be a job in computing, but he’d take anything he could get at the moment, so he was applying for a range of graduate jobs all over the south of England. It was a quiet time of year for recruitment with Christmas approaching, but Sean had a few telephone interviews and was hoping something would come up soon. He was willing to find temp work through an agency in the New Year if he didn’t get an offer before then, and in the meantime he was living off the last of his savings. He still insisted on contributing a little towards food and bills, but Justin wouldn’t let him pay any rent.
    “You’re sleeping on the sofa. I’m not making you pay for that!” he insisted.
    “If you’re sure…?”
    “I’m sure.”
     
     
    “I need to go shopping,” Sean said