Virtual Strangers Read Online Free Page B

started tilling the courgette bed yet? (only ask as I saw a brilliant and stylish recipe for deep-fried courgette flowers on celebrity Ready Steady Cook yesterday). As for the doc, I dithered about putting David Harris-Harper at number three, actually, as he’s seriously shaggable and has a nose just like Antonio Banderas. (His wife, apparently, is a very good friend of Davina’s, by the way. Hmm.) But I think AJ has the edge, doesn’t he? Even if (or because, perhaps!!) Davina is being such a baggage right now. Have I told you about that? She is permanently irritable about the impending image-enhancement make-over Willie JJ are undergoing as a stand, I presume, against Metro Homes swallowing them up. God, it’s awful . They’ve drafted in this woman (who looks like a cross between Katherine Hepburn and Wilma Flintstone), and who is called Ianthe, of all things, and who will apparently wave her sartorial and space enhancement wand and bring Willie JJ into the twenty first century. I’ve never seen Davina so fired up about fabrics. You know her - half a dozen Austin Reeds and she’s normally sorted, but just lately - well, suffice to say, it’s like working in a Moroccan bazaar. (Not that she’ll have to wear any of it anyway, so she can afford to completely cavalier about styling.)
    Wondered about continuing list-eligibility of Matt (ditto Phil). As no longer available for groping, should I remove? Please advise.
    More importantly, is IT guy really single/thirty seven/not a wuss (as Ben tells me). Go on, torture me. I can take it!
    And exactly how ratted was I? Don’t spare me. I need to know.
    Charliexx
    In an attempt to dispel any lingering local rumours about Charlie Simpson, Soak Star, I do not, as previously planned, take Ben and Dad to the pub for tea, but instead, stay in and allow latter to cook pork chops - I even consume a small quantity of his home made Cheeky Chilli Chutney. I do note, however, that chutney is probably more detrimental to my gut lining than ten years hard wine-abuse could possibly be on my liver. Take a large jug of water to the study and log on.
    [email protected]
    Dear Charlie,
    Of course Matt should be dumped! He is probably on a new shag-list as I write. Move Adam Jones up to second position.
    Rose.
    PS You know exactly how ratted you were. And you must go to the Stablefords’ party. If you shut yourself away you will become depressed and introspective. If you go late you won’t have to eat anything.
    PPS Just found out. Head of IT is gay.
    Rats.
    But I must accept the dreary reality that almost everybody within my preferred age, appearance, normality parameters is either already married/co-habiting/coming to terms with the emotional trauma of a messy divorce/ starring as comedy strand in a docusoap about singles’ clubs/cruise ships or wildlife sanctuary rangers and are therefore best avoided etc. Or, indeed, gay.
    Plus I’m already going out with Phil, of course. Hmmm.
    [email protected]
    Dear Rose,
    I’m very disappointed about the IT guy. But philosophical. Or should that be Phil-osophical? Have decided I must accept my disappointment as an indication of the fact that I shouldn’t really be going out with Phil any more. Must make a decision and very soon. Certainly before any more brochures about heritage/activity/theme breaks land on the mat. (Am expecting SAGA one any time now).
    And where is your latest shag list? Any worthy candidates in Canterbury yet? Have been considering cabinet re-shuffle since sad news about IT guy, and have decided must move scrumptious Harris-Harper into equal first position with delicious Doctor AJ. Have to report that Kim Harris-Harper turns out not to have been as friendly a person as I originally thought. Saw her in the bank last week and she remarked a) that she didn’t recognise me without the red flush, chortle, chortle and b) that she would just love to be able to let her hair down like I did, but regrettably, as she was a