Urban Myth Read Online Free Page B

creature.
    ‘We have to get it out of here,’ Nicole said, stating the obvious.
    That was going to be easier said than done, I thought. The moment it woke up it would probably slither off the bed and lead us a merry dance around the house. Or crawl into a place where we couldn’t reach it. Then where would we be?
    ‘I need a bag or a sack to put it in,’ I said, but a tremor in my voice betrayed my effort to remain calm. ‘Someone go and empty my flight bag and bring it up to me. Quickly.’
    Nicole relayed the instruction to a now sobbing Tina and I started looking around for something I could use to trap the snake. I spotted a large glass bowl on top of the pine dresser. It was half filled with pot pourri and it was close enough to reach without having to shift my position. I picked it up, emptied the contents onto the floor, and after a moment’s hesitation leaned across the bed and dropped it over the immobile snake. It was a perfect fit. I took a long, deep breath and felt a wave of relief surge through me. Emboldened now by the glass barrier between myself and the snake, I placed my hands on the bowl and moved it around in order to wake it up. But still it didn’t move, despite being shaken about so much that its long body began to uncurl.
    ‘I think it’s dead,’ Michael said.
    I turned and saw him standing at the foot of the bed, the colour having returned to his cheeks.
    ‘Try prodding it,’ he added.
    ‘What with?’ I said.
    It was Nicole who supplied the answer. She opened the wardrobe and took out a wire coat hanger, which she handed to me. I immediately slipped it under the rim of the upside-down bowl and poked the snake. Once, twice, three times. It didn’t stir, not even to flinch. I then lifted the bowl off completely, looped the hanger over the snake’s tail end and moved it half way along its body. Then, with surprisingly little effort, I raised the snake off the bed so that it was drooped over the long section of the hanger like a length of thick rope.
    A loud gasp came from the landing. Tina had returned and was standing in the doorway clutching my flight bag to her chest as though for protection.
    ‘Relax, sweetheart,’ I said. ‘This snake is deceased.’
    ‘So what the hell was it doing in the bed?’ she yelled.
    ‘It probably crawled under the duvet to keep warm,’ I said. ‘It’s not uncommon for snakes to get into homes. It happens often enough in Texas, as you know.’
    ‘But this isn’t Texas,’ she said. ‘And besides, the door was closed. I opened it.’
    ‘Well it must have sneaked in before the house was locked up,’ I said.
    She shook her head, unconvinced. And I didn’t blame her. It was a complete mystery to me how the slithery fucker had managed to not only get into the house, but also up the stairs and into bed.
    ‘Look, shall we have this conversation later?’ Nicole said. ‘I think we should get rid of that thing and check that there aren’t any more.’
    I walked slowly down the stairs with the family in tow, then out the front door and across the driveway to the edge of the heath. I laboured through bracken for about twenty yards. Before dropping the snake on the ground I looked closely at it for any wounds. I couldn’t see any, which begged the question as to how it had died. Did snakes have heart attacks? I wondered.
    I carried the hanger back to the house and dumped it in a wheelie bin around the side. Nicole and Michael then joined me in a careful and thorough search of the house. Tina stayed in the kitchen because she couldn’t bear the thought of getting another nasty surprise.
    After half an hour we were certain there were no more unwanted tenants. We gathered in the kitchen and Nicole made some coffee. A rush of anger prompted me to phone Nathan Slade. I wanted to ask him how in God’s name such a thing could happen. But Slade didn’t answer so I left a voice message, telling him I needed to talk to him as a matter of urgency. The