Itâs something else. And itâs not exactly fear either. Not in the truest sense of the word. Itâs more like a struggle. There is a force outside of myself that seems to be pulling me, and yet an equal force inside that holds me back. The powers are so equally matched, I believe I could stand here forever, locked in their opposing currents. If it were not for Director Razeâs voice in my head, repeating my directive, I might never find the courage to break through this invisible battlefield.
Her vibrant purple eyes rise to meet mine. Even against the backdrop of grime and filth, they are radiant. They are luminous. They are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.
She searches for a face behind my velvet hood, turning her head this way and that. I duck my head to avoid being seen. Not that sheâd recognize me. Yet I still prefer to remain anonymous, in case it serves me later when Director Raze assigns me my next mission.
â Who are you?â she asks. The doubt is as saturated in her voice as the dirt in her skin.
I refuse to meet her eyes, even though every cell in my body is begging me to.
I know I have to answer her. I have to speak eventually. She needs to trust me. Iâd rather not take her memories by force. It would be significantly messier that way.
âMy apologies, Sarah.â I refer to her by the alias Director Raze said she was operating under. âI am a member of the clergy of the Church of England.â
My accent is flawless thanks to my upload.
A brief glance at her through lowered lashes reveals that my explanation has made no sense to her. âItâs a religious position,â I clarify. âI am here to offer you Godâs blessing and hear your confessions before you are executed this morning.â
I brave another glimpse to verify that my explanation has registered in her mind, but once again, she looks lost.
âIs there anything youâd like to tell me before you die? Any secrets?â I access the terminology from my recent upload and recite the religious principles commonly believed in this day of age. If not for her sake, then for the sake of the guard. âIt is believed that if you die with a clear conscience you will go to heaven.â
The guard scoffs at my comment and I turn to see him smirking. I fight off the urge to yank his body through those iron bars. His head wouldnât fit on the first few tries, but Iâd eventually succeed.
I turn back to the girl. âSo,â I prompt. âIs there?â
âNo.â Her voice is so soft. Almost delicate. She is truly, genuinely scared. And for some reason, I feel the need to comfort her.
I fight that off as well.
Tricks, I remind myself. Manipulations .
âShe is dangerous.â
âVery well.â I nod and begin to move toward her. Skittishly, she backs away, looking like a cornered animal.
âW-w-what are you doing?â she stutters.
âIâm blessing you.â I extend my hand toward her face. The nanoscanners are invisible against my skin, even with our enhanced vision. But the closer I get to her, the more I feel that strange, invisible force pulling me in. It yanks at my arm like a puppeteer commanding a marionette. My body wants to touch her. My mind screams that it will only make things worse. My body wants to be near her. My mind wants to run away.
I fight to steady my shaking hand as I reach toward her. All five fingers press against her skin at once, and in that instant, all five fingers are alive with a spark of something electric. Something warm. Something enigmatic.
Itâs a sensation Iâve never felt and could never hope to have prepared myself for.
I donât want to pull away. Not ever. I want to touch her until our bodies expire. I want to stay in this cell with her and let them execute us both if thatâs what it takes to keep our skin from ever separating.
Be careful, Dr. Alixterâs voice rings from