Underneath Read Online Free Page B

just sat there .
    He wondered if Stephanie had gone to school today, or if, even now the police were on their way to Dean's house, to question him. The momentary thrum of fear abated with the realization that he had done nothing wrong. Freddy and Greer were the ones in trouble if the authorities were brought into it. And still he felt no better. Doing nothing somehow made him feel just as guilty as if he'd been the one holding her down, or pawing at her breasts, mocking her.
    He wanted to call her, to try to explain without panic riddling his words, without fear confusing him, but knew he'd lost her.
    But what if I hadn't lost her? he wondered then. What if Freddy hadn't interrupted us and we'd ended up having sex? What would that mean today? What would that make us?
    He saw himself holding her hand as they walked the halls at school.
    He saw himself holding her close at the prom as they danced their way through a crowd grinning cruelly.
    He saw the look of need in her eyes as she stared at him, the possessive look that told him he was hers forever.
    He heard the taunts, the jeers, the snide remarks but this time they wouldn't be aimed at Stephanie alone. This time, they'd be aimed at him too for being the one to pity her. For being blind to what was so staggeringly obvious to everyone else.
    What the fuck is wrong with me?
    Pain of a different kind threaded its way up his throat.
    He didn't like the person his feelings made him.
    He didn't like who he was becoming, or rather, who he might have been all along.
    I just sat there…
    As the light faded from the day and the shadows slid across the room, Dean lay back in his bed and stared at the ceiling.
    Watching.
    Waiting with rage in his heart.
    For tomorrow.
     
    * * *
     
    "Mr. Lovell, we missed you yesterday," a voice said and Dean paused, the only rock in a streaming river of students.
    The main door was close enough for him to feel the cool air blasting down from the air conditioner, the sunlight making it seem as if the world outside the school had turned white.
    Dean turned to face the principal, a tall rail-thin man who looked nothing like his son. Small green eyes stared out from behind rimless glasses. His hands were behind his back, gaze flitting from Dean's pallid face to the object held in his hand.
    "Yeah," Dean muttered. "I was sick."
    "I see," Principal Greer said, scowling at a student who collided with him and spun away snorting laughter. "Well this close to exams I would expect you'd make more of an effort to make classes."
    "It couldn't be helped."
    Greer nodded. "Where are you going with that, may I ask?"
    Dean lingered, his mouth moving, trying vainly to dispense an excuse, but finally he gave up and turned away. He walked calmly toward the main door.
    "Excuse me, Mr. Lovell, I'm not finished with you."
    Dean kept moving.
    "Mr. Lovell, you listen to me when I'm talking to you!"
    Now the scattering of students in the hallway paused, their chattering ceased. Heads turned to watch.
    The doorway loomed.
    "Lovell, you stop right this minute! "
    Dean kept moving.
    "You…your parents will be hearing from me!" Lovell sounded as if he might explode with rage. Dean didn't care. He hadn't really heard anything the old man had said anyway.
    The hallway was deathly silent as he passed beneath the fresh air billowing from the a/c, and then he was outside, on the steps and staring down.
    At where Fuckface Freddy was regaling two squirming girls with tales of his exploits.
    "I swear," he was saying, "the bitch told me she got off when guys did that. I mean…in a goddamn bowl for Chrissakes! Can you believe that shit?"
    It took four steps to reach him and when he turned, he squinted at Dean.
    Sneered.
    "The fuck you want?"
    Dean returned his sneer and drew back the baseball bat he'd taken from his locker.
    He expected Freddy to look shocked, or frightened, or to beg Dean not to hurt him. But Freddy did none of those things.
    Instead, he laughed.
    And Dean swung the