Dressed with care in the new silk and lace gown I ordered from New York. Russell said I was beautiful, but I did not need him to tell me that.
Everyone in town seemed to be at the dance. It is not surprising, since there are so few entertainments in this forsaken place. Knew the moment I stepped into the building that the one man I wanted to see was not there.
Because it was expected, I danced with every man who asked me, from fat old Horace Miller to pimple-faced Billy Watkins. Russell beamed, pleased that I was the belle of the ball, such as it was. The town ladies glowered at me. It is obvious they are jealous, the old cats, as if I cared.
It was about ten o’clock when Rufus Overfeld came striding toward me. He is short and fat, with bushy white whiskers that reach to his chest. Not caring that it was quite rude, I turned and fled. It was wonderfully cool outside after the stuffy heat of the schoolhouse and I walked into the shadows, anxious to be alone and more disappointed than I cared to admit that he was not there.
And then I heard a voice, a voice I knew was his. “Don’t you know better than to go off alone?”
Could hardly speak, hardly think, as he materialized out of the darkness.
“It’s not safe out here,” he said. “All kinds of wild critters roam the darkness.”
“Are you one of them?” The words were supposed to sound teasing, coy, but I only sounded frightened. He is like no other man I have ever met.
“The wildest of the bunch.” His voice was low, dangerous, exciting. He was dressed all in black again, from his hat to his boots. His eyes glittered like polished ebony in the moonlight. “What are you doing out here?”
Some of my self-confidence reasserted itself. He was just a man, after all, and I knew how to handle men. “What do you think?”
He laughed softly. “I think you’re trouble.”
“Are you afraid of trouble?”
He laughed again, the sound soft and husky. “Honey, I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Prove it.”
“Oh I aim to,” he drawled. And before I could think to say ah, yes, or no, he drew me up against him and kissed me and I knew in that moment that I’d been looking for this man my whole life.
Felt lightheaded and dizzy when he let me go.
“You’d better get back before you’re missed,” he said, his voice husky.
“When will I see you again?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t you want to?”
“Wants got nothing to do with it. You’re a married woman, and I’ve never been one to ride in another man’s saddle.”
His words angered me. No man had ever refused me before, yet this man, this half-breed, had turned me down. It was a humiliation unlike any I had ever known and I vowed that somehow, someday, I would find a way to get even.
Kathy shook her head. Lydia Conley had certainly been full of herself. Rich and spoiled, she had probably never been denied anything she wanted. It must have been quite a shock, having a man tell her no.
April 5th.
Something is troubling Russell, something to do with water rights. Overheard him talking to the foreman, telling them to double the night guards. Jack said he had heard that Burkhart was bringing in a hired gun, and Russell laughed and said maybe he had better hire Crowkiller to even things out. Jack laughed then and said he’d heard that Crowkiller could…I am quoting him here…draw quicker than you could spit and holler howdy. Cowboys are nothing if not colorful in their descriptions.
Dalton Crowkiller is a gunfighter! I could not believe my ears. And yet I should not have been surprised. One has only to look into those black eyes to know he is capable of anything, even murder…And to think I flirted with him…
April 17th.
Impossible as it seems, Russell has hired that man! When I asked why, he told me not to worry my pretty little head about it. Men! Sometimes they are so aggravating. As if I cannot figure it out for myself. Some of our cattle have been