Uncle John’s True Crime Read Online Free Page B

killed three men. The furious Luddites dispersed. But the next day, they returned and burned down Burton’s house. In clashes with Burton’s guards and the military (who rushed into the fray) at least 10 men were killed.
    SQUASHED
    A police crackdown ensued. Scores of leaders and rank-and-file Luddites were arrested and tried for their crimes. Many men were hanged; others were imprisoned or exiled to Australia. And with that, the uprising was over. There were sporadic outbreaks of violence, but by 1817 the Luddite movement ceased to be active in Britain. (Of course, the Luddites were right all along: The hated machines were making their jobs obsolete. These days, only a tiny fraction of the world’s cloth is made by hand.)
    ***
SITTING PRETTY
    Menelik II was the emperor of Ethiopia from 1889 until 1913. During his reign, he got excited by news of an invention being used in New York: Criminals were being executed with a device called an “electric chair.” Eager to modernize, Menelik ordered three electric chairs. However, it wasn’t until the devices arrived and were unpacked that the emperor realized they were useless for killing anyone. Why? Because at the time, Ethiopia lacked electricity. Menelik tossed two of the chairs, but frugally recycled the third by converting it into his throne.
    Bipolar: Nevada is the only state that allows casino gambling...but has outlawed lotteries .

DUMB CROOKS
OF THE OLD WEST
    Here’s proof that stupidity is timeless (and sometimes deadly) .
    T HE DALTON BROTHERS
    In the little town of Coffeyville, Kansas, in 1890, Bob, Emmett, and Gratton Dalton, along with two other men, formed a gang of outlaws. Inspired by the exploits of their cousins the Younger Brothers—who 15 years earlier had stolen nearly half a million dollars from trains and banks with the James Gang—the Daltons pulled a few small-time robberies. But they wanted a big payoff and the fame that goes with it—and that could only come from a legendary bank heist. So they planned it all out...all wrong:
    1 . The Daltons aimed to rob two banks at once: Two men would rob the First National Bank, while the other three hit Condon & Co. across the street. They thought they’d get double the loot, but they only doubled their chances of getting caught.
    2 . Instead of traveling to another town where no one knew them, they chose Coffeyville—where everyone knew them.
    3 . The street in front of the banks was being repaired the day of the heist. They could have postponed it, but went ahead anyway. Now they had to hitch their horses a block away, making a clean getaway that much more difficult.
    4 . Smart: They wore disguises. Dumb: The disguises were wispy stage mustaches and goatees. Locals saw right through them.
    The bank robberies were a disaster. The townsfolk saw the Dalton boys coming and armed themselves. The Daltons did get $20,000 from First National, but came up empty at the other bank when a teller said she couldn’t open the safe. When they emerged from the banks, an angry mob was waiting for them in the street. A hail of bullets followed, killing every member except Emmett Dalton, who spent the next 15 years in prison. He emerged from the penitentiary to discover that the Dalton Gang’s story had indeed been immortalized, but not as legendary outlaws...only as hapless screwups.
    In 1978 the state of Florida ran classified ads in newspapers for the position of “executioner.”

URBAN LEGENDS
    If you’re a crime buff, you’ve no doubt come across an urban legend or two. Here are three of the best ones we’ve found over the years. Are they true? Uncle John’s best friend’s little sister’s teacher’s neighbor swears they are .
    T HE STORY: A traveler visiting New York City meets an attractive woman in a bar and takes her back to his hotel room. That’s all he remembers—the next thing he knows, he’s lying in a bathtub filled with ice; and surgical tubing is coming out of two freshly stitched wounds on