is planning to Europe?”
Annie replied, easily distracted.
“Yeah, I think I’m going to go,” I said,
realizing it myself for the first time.
Ben looked at me in surprise.
“Really?” he asked. “You didn’t tell me,” he
said, sounding a little hurt. We planned everything together, so I
knew that it came as a shock for him that I wouldn’t involve him in
a major decision like this.
“I only just decided,” I said, glad I could
be truthful with him for the first time that evening.
I really couldn’t explain it. I suddenly had
the overwhelming urge to go overseas, to see England…to find the
place in my dream, terrifying as it was. I knew somehow that my
dream had taken place long ago, and the pull felt very strong to
discover everything I could about it.
“Well, I guess that means I’m in too,” he
said, always cheerful and eager to do whatever I wanted. He smiled
at me, and I felt an immediate, inexplicable rush of shame mixed
with the now familiar guilt.
“No!” I said, a little too loudly, then
hastily added, “I mean, you don’t have to go if you don’t want
to.”
Ben put down his spoon and sat back, the
smile gone from his face. An awkward moment passed, and I knew my
face had turned crimson.
I stood up then and picked up the ticket.
“This one’s on me,” I offered. It was the
least I could do.
Annie’s eyes followed me, and the worried
look on her face had returned. She and Zack stood up to leave
too.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said, twirling
her hair as she always did when she was a little nervous. I could
tell that they thought Ben and I had had a fight beforehand. They
couldn’t leave quickly enough.
I finished paying and returned to the
table.
“Are you feeling okay?” Ben asked.
“Yeah,” I said, not sure that I actually
was.
We left shortly after Zack and Annie, but
when Ben opened the door to his pick-up, I shook my head no.
“I can walk,” I said, not meeting his
eyes.
I knew it wasn’t fair, but I just needed to
be alone for awhile to clear my head. Though it was late, it wasn’t
far to walk.
“What’s with you tonight?” he asked, starting
to get more than a little irritated with me.
For the second time, I mumbled an
apology.
“I just need to get some air,” I
answered.
“Okay. Fine,” he said, now thoroughly angry
with me. It usually took a lot for Ben to lose his temper, so I
knew I must have pushed him too far and probably really hurt his
feelings. But it hadn’t been my intention. I honestly couldn’t
understand the way I felt.
He got into the driver’s side, slammed the
door, and drove off. He had a right to be upset. I’d been distant
ever since I’d had the dream that afternoon, and it wasn’t fair to
him. He had a swim meet tomorrow, and it was the regional
semi-finals. He likely wouldn’t sleep well tonight, and I felt bad
for the way I’d treated him. I just wasn’t myself.
I sighed, knowing I should have called to him
before he got into his truck and drove off. But I just stared at
the dust cloud he left behind, slightly shaken. Eventually, I
started walking home, not entirely sure myself why I was so
disturbed by the dream I’d had or how it could have affected me so
much.
Aunt Jo had left the outside light on but had
long gone to bed. Most of the school would have loved to have the
lax supervision I enjoyed. But Aunt Jo trusted me. She knew I
wouldn’t sneak around or do anything really bad.
I quietly let myself into the house and saw
the Duchess sitting on the bottom staircase, waiting on me with a
curious look of sympathy in her eyes, which seemed to glow in the
dark. Given that she normally treated me as a servant at best or a
pesky human at worst, I was curious to know why she paid me so much
attention now.
“Do you know what my dream means?” I asked
her, only half in jest as I rubbed her head.
She purred loudly and followed me up the
stairs, staying close to my legs as if to guard me, I thought.
It