There Goes The Bride Read Online Free Page A

suddenly confronted by a furious Felicity. ‘You leave James alone,’ she shouted. ‘I know you’ve been stalking him. You’re obsessed with him. Stay away from him!’
    There was a shocked silence. ‘You can’t say that one’s beautiful when she’s angry,’ said Charles. ‘She looked snakelike.’
    ‘Any ideas?’ asked Toni when they were outside.
    ‘We could cut the guy ropes.’
    ‘Might cause accidents if the marquee collapsed and smothered people.’
    ‘Let’s walk round the tent and see if we can think of something.’
    They walked around the back of the marquee. The lawn ended in a small river.
    ‘Look at that!’ said Toni. ‘Over to the left.’
    Harry looked and saw kennels with a fenced-off yard. Behind the fence prowled four Alsatians.
    ‘If they got out,’ said Toni, ‘I bet they’d head straight for the food.’
    ‘What if they savage the guests?’
    ‘I’m sure they’ve been trained to only attack when ordered to. What do you think?’
    They walked up to the kennels. ‘They do look hungry,’ said Harry. ‘Mind you, I could just lift this latch on the gate and let it swing open.’
    ‘There’s a shed nearby,’ said Toni. ‘Let’s make sure there isn’t a kennel man.’
    They peered through the open door of the shed. A thickset man lay asleep with an empty bottle of whisky behind him. A pot of boiling water with horsemeat in it stood on the stove. ‘He’s forgotten to feed them,’ said Harry, turning off the gas on the cooker.
    ‘What on earth are the Bross-Tilkingtons doing with four Alsatians?’
    ‘They seem to be pretty rich. People get nervous these days.’ Harry took out a handkerchief and lifted the latch. ‘My dad had an Alsatian once. They’re really all right. Stand back! All they’ll want is food.’
    The gate swung open. The dogs sniffed. The evening air was full of the smells of food.
    The four dogs moved slowly out of the kennels. Then, moving as one dog, they leaped forward.
    ‘Poor James looks as if he wants to die,’ said Bill Wong as a roll of drums heralded the start of the raffle.
    Felicity’s mother, Olivia, walked up to a microphone in front of the band. She was a square-built sort of woman draped in peach silk. Her hair was so white and so rigidly lacquered it looked like a steel helmet.
    ‘Now, ladies,’ she began. ‘The moment you have all been waiting for.’ Beside her, with cheesy grins on their faces, stood five Naked Servants.
    And then the dogs erupted into the tent. One jumped on the buffet table while the others scrabbled to join it, finally pulling down the white tablecloth and sending plates of food flying. Guests were screaming and fleeing from the tent. Felicity’s father was shouting for someone called Jerry.
    Outside the tent, the guests were making rapidly for their cars and soon the night air was full of the sound of revving engines.
    Agatha found Toni at her elbow. ‘Let’s get out of here,’ said Toni breathlessly.
    ‘You didn’t, did you?’
    ‘Don’t ask. Just get in the car,’ said Toni.
    ‘What I don’t understand,’ said Agatha when she and Toni were lying in their beds later that night, ‘is why James let things get so far?’
    ‘Maybe because he and Felicity were travelling a lot. He maybe didn’t know just how awful his future in-laws would prove to be,’ said Toni, stifling a yawn. ‘I mean, those Alsatians! You’d think a good burglar alarm system would be enough.’
    ‘I wish tomorrow were over,’ moaned Agatha. ‘I wish I had a hat to hide under. I might nip out early tomorrow and see if I can buy one. Where’s this church, anyway?’
    ‘It’s called Saint Botolph’s,’ said Toni sleepily. ‘Right in the centre of the village. We can’t miss it. I saw it when we were driving to the party.’
    ‘James doesn’t want to get married now,’ said Agatha. ‘He told me.’
    ‘Then why doesn’t he just do a runner?’ asked Toni.
    ‘He’s in too deep,’ said Agatha miserably. ‘I