me as well, for I can hear that he has stopped chewing. He keeps to himself, completely unbiased, unreadable. Daniel leans closer to me and whispers:
“And I bet you're hungry too.”
He uncovers my mouth and stuffs it with mud. I spit it out, almost choking on it, but he ties my mouth, making it impossible for me to get it all out. I swallow the dirt and pray that it won’t come back up.
“Daniel!”
The quiet one gets angry now.
Daniel laughs again. I turn away from him, letting him know how much I despise him and that I don’t care about his abuse. But I do, and each of his words stings me a little more. I dread giving him the pleasure of seeing me cry. He may have power over my body, but he has no power over my soul.
“Was that necessary? Why do you have to be so mean to her?”
“Stop being so wimpy, Nathaniel, I told you to just keep quiet and learn.”
“Learn what? To humiliate and torment women?”
“She is not a woman, she is our captive. And your captive is your property, until you place it in the hands of justice.”
Silence. Daniel finally walks away from me and Nathaniel takes a deep breath. I blindly stare into the woods and find myself asking them for help. Please trees, bushes, plants, animals, my deer... I know you recognise the voice of my heart, please, please; I beg of you, help me! Everything turns deadly silent, even the river seems to have stopped flowing, the fire crackling, the owl hooting.
How could it be all gone when there was so much noise before? Where are the mysterious voices of the wild? Where are the memories of my grandmother that came steaming up the lovely soup of ancient knowledge? Is it the pain that blocks it all away or is it the choking fear, or the hatred toward Daniel?
I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I can’t stand it any longer. And I dread the image of me dying in the hands of these two brutes. I haven’t even found the cave yet! I haven’t found out if my grandmother still awaits me there.
Nathaniel’s voice breaks the horrid silence.
“What if she is innocent?”
“That’s nonsense. This witch is our key to freedom. She will save our father. So stop it!”
Save their father? This makes them brothers, but their mission even more confusing. How could my misery help their father? My head aches even more, it has been stuck with me for too long...
I cry to myself a little, hoping they won’t find out. I can’t give Daniel the pleasure of seeing me suffer. I can sense that Nathaniel has noticed me cry though, I always sense when he lays his eyes on me.
*
Later in the evening they both grow quiet. My pain eases again and so I finally rest and hope to have some peace and quiet. I know I won’t be able to sleep, but at least I don’t have to walk. I have been given the chance to just idly lie here and numbly rest my tortured body. One of the captors, probably Nathaniel, had been gone for some time now, but I can hear him coming back.
He seats himself somewhere opposite to me and I can again sense his curious gaze. I turn my head as though to look at him. Daniel disturbs the strange connection.
“Go on if you want to. I know you have desired it since we captured her.”
I instinctively know what he implies and bring my knees up, curling up like an animal that seeks protection within itself. I have seen women and men becoming one when spying on some lovers, but I have also witnessed a girl being raped. The horrid experience made me feel grateful that no man in town was interested in me romantically.
Daniel’s deep devious laughter intensifies the fear that has ensnared my heart.
“I understand. She is too disgusting.”
The fear exchanged with anguish as soon as he pronounced those words. Until now I have imagined Daniel to be a tall fat man with an evil grin, but now I imagine him as a demonic creature. If demons exist, he is surely their king. I urge myself to stop feeling so humiliated, because I know it would only make