The Weather and Women Treat Me Fair Read Online Free Page A

one of his few. There is my ex-wife, Cecile. She is calling because she has not been by this month. I will return her call. The plants outside Jake’s window are in need of watering.
    Jake is in his room, playing with his little xylophone with the brightly colored slats, what I call his diminutive dinker. I like the xylophone. I get on the floor and play, too. Pretty soon I have both mallets and he is watching. I stop.
    ‘It’s time to eat,” I say.
    “Are you going to cook?”
    I nod.
    He shakes his head.
    “Would you rather go out?”
    We are in the car. We are going out for pizza. I don’t feel any one way about pizza, but it will have mushrooms. My son is in his car-seat, which is slightly small for him and which has a little steering wheel affixed to it. And a horn. I do not use my horn. I don’t get upset. My son, though, pushes the horn and screams at the top of his lungs at the other cars. “Watch out, buddy! Hey, mac! What’re you doing?! Trying to take your half out the middle?!” He learned this from me back when I was emotional.
    The pizza place is owned by Tony Viggiano. He knows us. We always get a medium with mushrooms. We used to get pepperoni, but pepperoni gives Jake gas. We don’t need pepperoni. Tony let me work in the kitchen one evening. I chopped pepperoni. I pretended it was my publisher’s penis.
    The pizza eaten, we leave. At home, I tell Jake to prepare for bed. I call Cecile. We exchange polite but wonderfully empty inquiries as to each other’s well-being.
    “Tomorrow is Saturday,” I tell her. “I was wondering if you’d like to come by and peer through a window.”
    “I would like that.”
    “How is Lilith?”
    “She’s fine.”
    “Are you happy? I know it’s none of my business, but—”
    “There’s no need to explain, Grayson. I’m very happy. Very, very happy. Lilith is a much better lover than you ever were.”
    Her saying this does not bother me. “Three o’clock.” I hang up.
    Jake is in his bedroom, between the sheets. It is a warm night. I am sitting by his bed. He wants a story. I read him a chapter and he goes to sleep.
    The morning comes. I am up and in the bathroom. I urinate. As I stand before the mirror, staring dull-eyed at my face, Jake stumbles in and adds his load to the toilet. He climbs onto the high stool next to me and stares dull-eyed at my face. I dispense shaving foam into my hand and then his. We rub it on our faces. I shave. So does Jake. I use an old double-edge. Jake uses the key from a sardine can.
    “Don’t cut yourself,” I say.
    He shakes his key clean in the sink.
    Later, after some play in the park, we are home again and I am waiting for Cecile. Jake is playing in his room. She arrives at three. Lilith is with her. They are walking toward me in the front yard. They are a peculiar sight. Cecile is slim, five nine, beautiful. Lilith is short, very short, husky, not beautiful. Though Lilith shows signs of some sort of grace, her gait reminds me of a monkey’s, her long arms swinging, seeming to push through unseen branches.
    “Hello, Grayson,” Cecile says.
    “Hello, Cecile. Lilith.”
    Lilith says nothing. She smiles.
    They follow me around to the side of the house. “So, how have you both been?” There is no answer. I point to the window. “There you go.”
    Jake is playing with his xylophone, closely attending to the sounds he’s making. Cecile smiles as she watches, ducking occasionally to avoid being seen. Lilith is smiling.
    I am following them back to their car. Cecile reaches for Lilith’s hand. It looks as if she is walking a large ape. Lilith swings around to the driver’s side. Cecile stands before me and takes my hand. Her palm is sweaty. It is her sweat and her monkey’s sweat
    “Take care,” I say.
    “You, too,” she says. “Jake looks wonderful. He’s so big.”
    “Yes.”
    She gets into the car and they drive away. Her visit was about fifteen minutes too long. I make a note.
    I go inside and to