The Wanderers Read Online Free Page B

Richie a stack of 45s. He looked them over: "Soldier Boy," "Ten Commandments of Love," "Sealed With a Kiss," "Patches," "Tell Laura I Love Her," "Tears on My Pillow," and ten more of the slowest songs imaginable. Eugene nudged him. "This is gonna be a
grindin'
night!"
    "Hey, you know what C said to me? She said she was so horny she might go all the way!"
    Eugene slapped his forehead. "You shittin' me?"
    "Would I shit you? You're my favorite turd."
    "Hey, up yours."
    "Be nice to me and 111 let you smell my finger."
    "Hey, watch this." Eugene flicked off the master switch and all the lights went out except a small red bulb in a corner. "Atmosphere."
    "Hey, cut it out!" Anne yelled.
    Eugene turned the lights on. "We'll save it for later, when they're all horny."
    "Hey, ah, lissen ... if, ah, things get goin' between me an' C, you know, can I use yer room?"
    Eugene frowned. "You really think you might go all the way?"
    "Maybe even farther."
    "Well, O.K., but don't use it unless you really have to."
    "Don' worry." Richie slapped Eugene on the shoulder.
    The front-door chimes rang. Eugene took the rickety basement stairs four at a time. The stairs rattled again a minute later as five guys and four girls came down yelling and shouting. Each guy had a bottle conspicuously hidden under his coat. Everyone gave their booze to Turkey. He went to work making quart shakers of Seven, screwdriver, and rum and Coke.
    "Hey, Turkey, put in that Spanish fly I gave you, heh-heh." Joey laughed and squeezed his date's shoulder.
    While waiting for the drinks, everyone grabbed at potato chips, M&Ms, pretzels, and Fritos.
    "Hey, man, me an' Margo saw
West Side Story
at the Valentine last night, you see that yet?" Buddy asked.
    "Yeah, that was boss."
    "Yeah, I dug the Jets."
    "Yeah, but the coolest dude was Bernardo."
    "Yeah, he's cute."
    "Ah; my ass is cute."
    "You see those shirts and jackets them P.R.s was wearin'?"
    "I just got me a jacket in Alexanders like Chico's."
    "I liked Tony. He was cool."
    "Yeah, he was boss."
    "Yeah, but howdja like them bazooms on that P.R. chick?"
    "Perry, you're such a pig."
    "Who you mean, Natalie Wood?"
    "No, man, the other one."
    "Natalie Wood, a carpenter's dream."
    "Flat as a board an' easy to screw."
    "I thought Richard Beymer was cute," said Margo.
    "Hah! You shoulda seen Margo bawl at the end," said Buddy.
    "I didn't know Margo balled," Joey said.
    "Drinks are ready," said Turkey from the other side of the room. The guys charged up to the portable bar.
    "Hey, you know, they shoulda asked the Wanderers to be the white gang for that movie."
    "Yeah, Perry woulda been A-Rab, Joey coulda been Action, Richie coulda been Riff, Turkey coulda been Baby John."
    "No! Turkey could be Anybody's." Everyone laughed except Turkey.
    "I coulda been Tony," said Buddy.
    "Yeah sure, my ass would be a better Tony," said Richie.
    "I'd a like to be Bernardo," said Joey.
    "What for? He was a P.R."
    "He ain't a real P.R. That George Chakiris, he's Italian."
    "No he ain't, he's Jewish," said Perry.
    "Bullshit, he's too good-lookin' for a Hebe."
    "Maybe he got a nose job," countered Perry.
    "Maybe he got a handjob," said Joey.
    "Maybe he got a blowjob," said Richie.
    "There's no job like a blowjob, there's no job that I know," the three sang.
    "An' now ladies an' gennelmun, will you please rise for the national anthem," Eugene announced, standing at attention by
the record player. A static riddled piano brought on Dion's gutty voice.
     
Oh, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down,
Where a pretty girls are, a well you know that I'm aroun'
I a kiss 'em an I love 'em Cause to me they're all the same
I a squeeze 'em and I hug 'em, they don't even know my name
They call me the Wanderer, yeah the Wanderer
I roam aroun' aroun' aroun'
     
    After their theme song, Eugene put on a stack of 45s, mixing the slows to fasts in a two to one ratio. The party was on. The first record was the Marcels' "Blue Moon." None of the guys wanted to dance