The Truth of Yesterday Read Online Free Page A

again.
     
         “I thought about what you said and I realized that you were right. I was holding back part of myself from you and part of the reason for that was because I wasn't completely over Asher. Another part of the reason is because I was afraid of being hurt again. I also thought about what you said about risk.” I took a deep breath. “Micah, I love you.”
     
         I watched his face intently for his reaction. I saw something flash in his eyes but I couldn't identify it before it was gone.
     
         “What does that mean?” he asked carefully.
     
         “It means that I've decided that I'm willing to take that risk. I want to try to make this work. It means you'll have to work with me if you want to make it work too, but I'm willing to try.”
     
         “What about Asher?”
     
         “You mean am I over him? Not completely, not yet anyway. Who knows, maybe I'll never be completely over him, but he's a part of my past now. I have to move on and I'd like to move on with you. I do love you. I realized that last night. I was scared to death at the thought of losing you.”
     
         “That scared you more than being hurt?”
     
         I nodded. “I was afraid to let you in because I was afraid I'd lose you and I'd just get hurt again, but then I realized that I was going to lose you by not letting you in, and it would have hurt just as much because I was already in love with you.”
     
         “Are you really in love with me, Killian?”
     
         I paused just long enough to see the vulnerability in his eyes. “Yes, I am.”
     
         He drew in a shaky breath and slowly released it. “Good, because yesterday when I said I could fall in love with you, that wasn't exactly the truth. The truth is I already have.”
     
         I threw myself into his arms and we tumbled backwards onto the bed. I kissed him firmly on the lips and within moments, he was kissing me back. He rolled us over so that he was on top and we kissed for a few more minutes. Then he gently pulled away and lifted himself up onto his elbows so he could look me in the face.
     
         “God, you are so beautiful, Killian. I could just stare at you all night long. You know, this is exactly the way I hoped this would happen, but I was too afraid to actually think it would.”
     
         “Oh ye of little faith,” I teased.
     
         “It's not going to be an easy road, though. You know that, right?”
     
         “I never thought it would be. You're going to have to be patient with me. I doubt I can drop all the walls at once. I might need your help.”
     
         “We'll work on it together. You know you're not the only one with walls though, right?”
     
          “You too?”
     
         He lay down next to me and I cuddled into his side. “I think everybody has them to some degree,” he said, “Some are worse than others. From my experience, it seems that gay guys have more walls than most. I guess we have to start building our defenses sooner than some people.”
     
         I twisted around so I could see his face better. “You've told me about being abused and how you reacted by having sex with a lot of people, but you've never mentioned falling in love. Am I the first person you've ever loved?”
     
         Micah softly stroked the side of my face. “No, I fell in love once before, when I lived in DC. We lived together for a while.”
     
         “Why'd you break up?”
     
         “I moved here, he stayed in DC. Neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing. We made a mutual decision to just call it quits; we both agreed that we'd run our course and there was no sense in waiting until things got ugly to break up. At least this way we could stay friends.”
     
         “Did you?”
     
         “For a while, and then the phone calls got farther and farther part. Eventually we just stopped calling, about the same time I met