The Things a Brother Knows Read Online Free Page B

wrestle or shove each other or pin each other to the floor, laughing so hard they almost puke, hiding their deep affection under a layer of physicality. We were more or less strangers.
    Or maybe that’s not really fair. I guess I’m talking mostly about what happened when he got to high school. Before that, before he got his driver’s license and a girlfriend, there were times I was the only game in town. On vacations we’d build elaborate sand castles or take borrowed bikes and go exploring. One regular Saturday night we watched the whole
Godfather
trilogy and we didn’t even start until ten.
    As he got older he sort of gave up on me. He dove into a new world and shut me out. And then he went off to Israel for a summer and came back with the idea that he needed to join the Marines and then all hell broke loose around here.
    If he talked to me more, I’d have some idea about why. But I never really understood all that much about him other than that he was stronger, faster, bigger, smarter andway better-looking than me. He had a confidence I marveled at and a girlfriend I fantasized about. Boaz knew what he wanted and he went out and got it. I’ve never really wanted much of anything.
    I’m not so sure how much has changed in the years since he’s been gone. I’ve grown taller and I’m grateful for every quarter inch, but I still don’t know what it is I’d give up everything for the way he did, or if such a thing even exists for me.
    When I was younger, I used to sneak into his room. I’d run my fingers over his trophies, his collection of rocks, the spines of his books. I thought of myself as somehow stepping into my future. I was catching a glimpse of who I’d become four years down the road.
    But in the end that room taught me nothing.
    “Levi,” Dov turns to me. “Why do you smell so pretty?”
    “Because I showered?”
    “No. It’s more than that.”
    Dov’s right. I put on some cologne. It’s been in the medicine cabinet since Boaz’s high school days, and I’m taking a leap it hasn’t turned toxic. Once I’m bothering with this party I might as well make an effort.
    Pearl is tagging along with Zim and me, as per usual.
    “It’s one of the only benefits of having you as a friend,” she says. “They don’t know how to throw a party at Convent of the Holy Child Jesus. All those stereotypes about wild Catholic girls aren’t true.”
    “I’m going to a party,” I say finally. “I won’t be back too late.”
    I’m not sure why I hesitated. I mean, I can pretty much doas I please. One benefit of having a brother who chooses a life in a combat zone is that my parents never get all knotted up about where I’m going, or what I’m doing, or who I’m with, or if I’m getting good grades, or how I’ll spend my summer vacation, or where I’m applying to college.
    They used to bug Boaz about those things and look where that got them.
    Dov puts his hand on mine. “Have a good time, beautiful,” he says. “And whatever you do, don’t forget your handbag.”
    Pearl is sporting some serious cleavage.
    “Mama Goldblatt let you out of the house in
that
?”
    She holds up a gray cardigan. “There’s a reason God invented sweaters.”
    She climbs into the back of Zim’s car, leans forward and buries her nose in my neck. “You smell yummy.”
    Zim puts his hand up like he’s shielding his eyes from the blinding blaze of a too-close sun. “Gross. Get a room.”
    She breathes in deeper. “You smell like Boaz used to smell.”
    I push her away. “Are you for real?”
    “I’m a girl. I have a strong olfactory sense. Or maybe it’s a Chinese thing. Either way, I remember how he used to smell.” She takes one final whiff of me and then falls back into her seat. “Mmmmmmmmm. The scent of falling in love.”
    It never occurred to me Pearl might have had a crush on my brother. That was stupid.
    I scratch at my neck. Maybe I overdid it with the cologne.
    “Okay, you two, remind me why