The Sphere Read Online Free Page A

just because we walked along the beach for a little while. Just because he looks at me like that. Because he knows how lonely I feel. I remember suddenly what he said to me two days ago at the dorm. Dammit! Yesterday it was all clear, just this morning it was all clear. Even five minutes ago. Besides, we talked it over, right?
    “What is it?”
    “Nothing,” I answer, obviously surly, and start walking again.
    This is how it is: there are things that put me in an indescribably bad mood in a fraction of a second. Sometimes I wonder if there are specific things that make me seethe like this, or if it’s just how I am. Maybe a bad mood is my natural state.
    “Is it because I’m walking with you?” I look at him out of the corner of my eye. “Well,” Axel lowers his gaze, “I don’t see why I can’t walk with you.”
    “We talked about it.”
    “You talked about it,” Axel replies.
    I know we could get tangled up in an argument about who said what yesterday, who decided that the best thing was for us to stop seeing each other. I really don’t feel like arguing. Not here. Not now that I’m feeling this hole of loneliness.
    “Your brothers seem fun to me,” says Axel, changing the subject. “I’ve seen them around here before. With those cute curls of theirs...”
    “How could you not see them! It’s enough to make you cringe.”
    “But why?”
    “They’re embarrassing,” I say without turning my head. I don’t feel like meeting his eyes again.
    “They’re not embarrassing, they’re just little, and... they’re active. That’s normal. They’re cool.”
    “I’ll give them to you. And I’ll give you my parents, too, they’re almost cooler than the twins. For you, the whole awesome package.”
    Axel laughs. I wasn’t trying to be funny.
    “But why do you dislike them so much?
    “Because they deserve it.”
    Axel is quiet, which is extremely strange. I didn’t want to look at him but now I can’t help it; his silence makes me turn toward him. I glance up without moving my face. He hasn’t realized that I’m watching him. He looks sad—really sad. What did I say? Why is he being like this? Suddenly he looks at me and I blush a bright red that really ought to disappear from the face of the planet. Where did that come from?
    “Come on, Dissie, you shouldn’t say stuff like that about your family. All that bitterness doesn’t suit a girl like you.”
    “All that bitterness?” For a second I don’t know what he’s talking about; I’ve been totally thrown off track. “Oh, yeah, my family... Look, you’d have to live it to understand it. And what do you mean bitterness doesn’t suit me?”
    “What do I know. Maybe just that you shouldn’t feel it, that no one should make you feel that way. You’re—you’re different. Special. You’re sweet...” I look at him, squinting. “You don’t seem like it when you look at me that way, but you are sweet... in spite of yourself.” Axel’s last words are barely audible. Yeah, right, sweet as candy. “No one should make you feel bad.”
    I can’t believe he just said that. The main reason I’m feeling bad right now is him.
    “Do you know what movies are showing today?”
    Axel looks at me, a little disconcerted, then smiles. Alarm bells go off in my head. No—please, no! It wasn’t an invitation.
    “You want to go to the movies?” he asks.
    “Just so I can send my parents. That way they’ll leave me alone for a while.”
    I start walking again. I know he’s watching me; I can feel his eyes on my face. Without warning he wraps an arm around my waist, and I freeze. I have to confess—just to myself—that I don’t mind. But I know that just because it feels right doesn’t mean it is. It’s as simple as that. I’ve already made a decision about him, and it was only a couple of hours ago that I promised myself I would stick to my decisions. I’m not going to cave now. Slowly I lift his arm and push it away.
    “If you get your