The Sharp Hook of Love Read Online Free Page A

a stupor, or both. The hours between the commencement of drinking and the loss of consciousness had felt increasingly perilous for me since Gisele’s abrupt departure the previous month.
    He had not wanted to send her away. Like so many other men of the Church, Uncle had surrendered to the reformists’ demands for the sake of his career. The bishop had tolerated my uncle’s affair, for he indulged weaknesses of his own, as everyone knew. But the reformists had gained in strength. Thirty years had passed since Pope Gregory VII had revoked the authority of bishops who allowed priests to marry. My uncle, being not a priest but a canon, and not married but keeping a mistress, had enjoyed Gisele’s companionship without penalty—until the fiery young monk Bernard of Clairvaux announced that he would come to Paris to speak. For him to point his finger at Bishop Galon would cause the old man’s ruin. In his frenzy to rid himself of any taint, the bishop had commanded all his clergy, even canons, topractice not only celibacy—remaining unmarried—but strict continence, as well, abstaining from all sexual pleasure.
    My uncle had to say good-bye to the woman he had loved since his youth. I shall never forget her tearstained face when she departed our home, all her possessions loaded on a cart and her eyes as empty as if she had run out of dreams. Uncle watched her go without a word, then rebuffed my sympathetic embrace. It had to be done, he growled. I shall never advance to deacon by flouting the Church’s rules. Now the flagon was his mistress, and more dangerous to his advancement than any woman—and hazardous to me, as well.
    The knock sounded again, hesitant, not at all like my uncle’s fist, so I arose to open the door. Abelard stood on the other side, his hat in his hands, his eyes searching mine. I touched my fingers to my unbraided hair. Why had he come, alone, to my room?
    â€œYou did not say whether you want me for your teacher.” His gaze brushed my cheek where my uncle had struck me, and it burned again. “Please let me in so we may discuss the matter.”
    â€œDoes my uncle know that you are here?” I peered beyond him to the stairway. Uncle would punish me for any improprieties, no matter who was at fault.
    â€œYour uncle sleeps.”
    â€œDid he fall asleep with his head on the table?” I closed my eyes against the image.
    â€œHe staggered into his room and did not return.”
    My eyes flew open. “ ‘Your uncle sleeps’ is not a statement of truth, then, since sleeping is only a possible consequence of his entering his room.” I took pleasure in Abelard’s frown. “Although you stated it as a fact, ‘he sleeps’ is your opinion.”
    â€œI asked his servant to look in on him, and he reported that Fulbert was sleeping.”
    â€œHad my uncle instructed him to do so, Jean would have said, ‘He sleeps.’ Or he might have been dead, and Jean mistaken.”
    Abelard combed the fingers of one hand through his curls. “My God, how your mind leaps.” His nostrils flared. “Like a caged animal.”
    I retreated into my room, and Abelard followed. “Caged? How so? I move about at will.”
    â€œBut not for long, non ? What else is an abbey if not a cage?”
    â€œIn the abbey, my mind will be free.”
    â€œPerhaps, then, you should liberate your body.” He stepped toward me. “While yet you can.”
    â€œIs this why you have come, then? To discuss my body?” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a defiant look.
    â€œI came for your answer. Do you desire me for your teacher, or not?”
    â€œI do.” I dropped my gaze to his feet, but resisted the urge to prostrate myself and beg him to accept me. He had already borne witness to my humiliation. “But why would you accept me, after seeing my uncle’s ugly temper?”
    â€œForgive