The Rocker That Holds Me Read Online Free Page A

him. “Rich called me last night.” I tell him when he seems confused. “We are touring with Axton and OtherWorld starting in September.”
    “Fucking Rich.” Jesse grumbled. “We wanted to surprise you.”
    “Anyway…We were thinking of renting a house somewhere. But we thought that you would lik e to pick where.” Nik smiled down at me, that smile that always makes my heart ache for things I know I can never have. “Anywhere in the world that you want, Em. Pick a place, find us a house and that’s where we will spend our summer.”
    My chin trembled. I was relieved that they weren’t yelling, that Drake hadn’t ratted me out to the others and they weren’t all insisting I see a doctor. So why was I suddenly sobbing?

Chapter 4
    One more concert and then it was back on the road.
    Do you know how hard it is to hide throwing up when you are on a tour bus? It’s near impossible. But somehow I do it. For the next three weeks I keep it from them. With the wakeup calls I get every morning where I have to rush to the onboard bathroom, I have never been so happy that the guys could sleep so soundly in my life.
    After retching every morning I’m usually able to make it through the rest of the day without a repeat performance. Still my stomach rolls all day long and I’m losing weight because I can’t force myself to eat. That is something that they all pick up on, even Drake in his almost constant drunken state. They start watching me closer and I know that they are about to gang up on me.
    And really I’m more worried about finding out what is wrong with me than an actually trip to the doctor right now. But I’m putting it off as long as possible.
    I find us a house online. It’s perfect. Private beach, no one for miles that could possible bother us. And if the guys get restless they only have to drive forty-five minutes to find a club or bar. The price for the house for the entire summer makes my stomach clench. Even after all these years and the life style we lead I feel sick having to spend so much money. But it wouldn’t even put a tiny dent in all of our wallets now.
    Even my own wallet. Rich pays me well for taking care of my guys, something I would have done for free. But Nik and Jesse made him put me on his payroll when I was eighteen. I haven’t had any need to touch the money that I earned. If there was something the guys thought I wanted they just bought it for me. If I needed something they pushed their credit cards into my hands and made sure I used them.
    By the time all the details were taken care of there were only a few days left until the end of the tour. One more stop, two more concerts, and then we were going to be on a plane. I was excited. We have never had a whole summer off. I would get to sleep in for three months! That thought alone made me sigh.
    “I think you should see a doctor.”
    My head snapped up at the sound of Nik’s voice. He and Jesse have been sitting at the back of the bus with me watching TV for the last hour. I was feeling better after my morning of vomit filled fun. “No.”
    He was sitting right beside of me so I didn’t have time to move when he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. “Yes, Emmie. You are nothing but bones now. You aren’t eating. And I heard you this morning in the bathroom. You sleep all the time, and you keep having bitchy mood swings. Something is wrong.”
    “I don’t want to go to the doctor.” Okay, maybe I did. I was scared that there was something seriously wrong with me, like an ulcer or something. I’ve never been this sick in my life. It takes all I have to keep water down these days. But I was still terrified of doctors.
    “ We’ll go with you, Em.” Jesse promised, twirling a drum stick around his fingers expertly. “We won’t let them hurt you.”
    I took a harder look at him. He was really worried about me. I could see it in the way he was looking back at me that he was a little scared too. I couldn’t handle that. So