office. I then walked briskly through the hallway until I was out the front doors of the large estate. Michael was out front with my car just like he said he would be. I thanked him, hopped in my car, and pulled out of there as fast as I could. Once I was back on the public roads I let out a deep breath. I was more relaxed now because the interview was over. I was sure there was no way I would get the job. I made a fool out of myself. I’m surprised I didn’t drool all over myself. How embarrassing. Well if by some chance he offers me the job there is no way that I am taking it. I like my life the way it is. It’s quiet and predictable. I have to keep it that way for my sanity. I couldn’t afford to let these emotions in no matter what. I couldn’t care about anyone. I knew if I took this position that I would start to care for him. I had a strange connection with him and it was a connection I was not willing to explore. So it’s settled. If I am offered the job I will say no. Easy. Now if I could just say that and convince myself that I mean it.
*****
I arrived home a few hours later. I had successfully gone to the grocery store and picked up the essentials. Then I went and got the oil changed in my car. It had been way too long since my last oil change. I unloaded the groceries and decided to do a little reading in bed. Hopefully this would tire me out for an afternoon nap. I rarely got a day off and I wanted to make the most of it. I pulled out my latest rental from the library and started reading. After about ten minutes, I realized this distraction wasn’t going to work today. Usually reading was the easiest way for me to busy my mind. I needed my mind occupied. If it wasn’t then I had too much time to think. These were the moments when I would wonder what I could have done. What if I drove that day? What if we woke up late? What if I didn’t go to my meeting? What if I would have bought the house on the other side of town two years ago, instead of the house I did buy? Would any of these decisions change the outcome? Would he still be alive? My eyes became heavy and I could feel sleep taking over my body. My mind was fighting with my body to stay awake. It was like my brain wanted to continue torturing me with questions. Deep down I knew his death wasn’t my fault, but my heart and brain were not on the same page. I wasn’t sure if the guilt would ever go away. I knew the grief wouldn’t. I felt like a complete failure. He was the one thing I was doing right in my life and in the end… I failed him too. My eyes closed again and I drifted off to a restless sleep.
Chapter Three
8 years earlier
“Come on Chelsea! My momma is going to kill me. My curfew was two hours ago. We need to leave now!” I screamed at my best friend. My best friend Chelsea was three years older than me. We lived next door to each other our whole lives. Chelsea was too busy making out with her boyfriend to care that I was going to be in so much trouble. We were in a room with twenty other people and she was straddling her boyfriend on the couch. She was dry humping him in front of complete strangers. She finally broke away from the kiss and turned toward me. “You are already going to be in a lot of trouble Mia so it doesn’t matter anymore. Please, just give me 20 minutes and then we will leave.” “Darn it Chelsea, you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.” I was super pissed. I went to grab my purse from a vacant bedroom and left the party we were at. It was late August and Tanya Miller always had the biggest end of summer bashes. I lived about three miles away from Tanya’s house but I wasn’t in the mood to wait any longer for Chelsea to give me a ride home. In one month I would be sixteen and I could get my license and be done with it. I knew Chelsea had no intention of leaving in twenty minutes so I was going to walk home. My mother trusted me and I did not want to