The Red-Hot Cajun Read Online Free Page A

been fun,” she said, standing. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”
    Just then a loud motor roared outside.
    She looked at Rene, and the expression on his face immediately alarmed her.
    “They wouldn’t!” he bellowed with disbelief and ran for the door. She followed closely behind.
    The water plane was taking off, up into the air, and Tante Lulu was standing on the stream bank waving them off.
    “Come back here! You have to fly me back to Houma,” Valerie shouted, her voice shrill in her own ears.
    “You ain’t the boss of this op,” Tante Lulu said, then explained, “Op is short for operation amongst government agents. Not that we’re government agents. We’re our own agents. Fer protectin’ the bayou.”
    She beamed as if she’d just been named CIA Jane.
    “I... want... to... leave,” Valerie said, real slow so her message would get through to Tante Lulu.
    “You . . . ain’t. . . gonna,” Tante Lulu said just as slowly.
    Valerie shrieked her outrage.
    “Now, don’t get excited, chère. I’ll call my brother Remy to come for you,” Rene assured her. He was searching around the porch, swearing something about “killing” and “dingbats” and his “worst nightmare”.
    Hah, she had dibs on the “worst nightmare.” “Quit dawdling around. Where’s your damn phone? Give me the thing, for God’s sake. I’ll call someone to come get me. I don’t want anything more to do with you or your wacko family or friends.”
    “Oops!” he said finally, after walking up and down the length of the porch.
    She did not like the sound of that “Oops!” Nor did she like the weak, apologetic smile he cast her way.
    “Don’t tell me.”
    “They must have taken my phone.”
    “I told you not to tell me. I swear, you are going to be on a chain gang for years when I’m done with you.”
    “It’s not my fault.”
    “I am going to sue the ass off all of you.”
    Tante Lulu walked up to them. “Not to worry, Valerie. They’ll come back fer you once ya agree to help us.”
    “Us?” Rene asked. “Us? Since when did you get involved, Tante Lulu? Or me, for that matter?”
    She ignored his question and slapped her knees with delight. “Holy crawfish! This is almost as much fun as watchin’ a Richard Simmons show. Is anyone in the mood fer gumbo? I’m thinkin’ I’ll go in an’ make us a pot of gumbo fer supper. Bein’ an agent makes a body hungry.”
    Valerie was not going to ask what she meant about Richard Simmons. And she was not going to discuss some freakin’ bayou menu choice, either, or Tante Lulu being an agent, secret or otherwise.
    “You know, Valerie, yer gonna get grumpy lines around yer eyes and mouth if ya keep frownin’ like that,”
    Tante Lulu offered as she walked past them and into the cabin.
    “Grumpy? Killing is a legal defense in some parts of Louisiana, you know!”
    Tante Lulu just laughed.
    Valerie raised her hands into claws behind the woman’s back.
    “Holy crap, Val! You look just like Lizzie Borden must have just before she raised her axe.”
    She took several deep breaths. As good as it might feel, losing control was not the answer. Calm down, Valerie, the voice of Simone Breaux echoed in her head, like a toothache that would not go away.
    Temper tantrums gain you nothing. Perhaps an hour in the closet will help you control youremotions. Maybe next time you’ll get an A in math. We do not settle for B’s in this family. Inhaling and exhaling, Valerie finally got her racing heartbeat back to normal.
    Slowly, she turned and bared her teeth at Rene”, who was the only half-normal person in this schizo-drama, and that wasn’t saying much. “How do I get out of here?” she asked.
    “Damned if I know.”
    “Stop kidding around.”
    “I wish I were.”
    “Is there a boat?”
    “A pirogue,” he said, pointing to a canoe that was typically used in low bayou streams. “But it would probably take three days to get to Houma in that thing. I’m not tryin’