The Prisoner of Snowflake Falls Read Online Free Page A

living under the same roof with an assortment of burglars and con artists. So I’ve decided to list them below.
    â€¢ Should you encounter any problems with law enforcement, do not give them this address.
    â€¢ No stealing on the premises. (This means YOU!)
    â€¢ No talking about stealing in front of Henry.
    â€¢ No swearing or coarse language in front of Henry.
    â€¢ You will be expected to perform at least one domestic chore per week. (Feel free to let Henry see you doing this.)
    â€¢ Should you fail to perform said domestic chore, you will be required to help Henry with his homework.
    â€¢ If you do not feel qualified to help Henry with his homework, you must go to the library and select a book you feel he might enjoy. (Do not steal the book.)
    â€¢ Family game night is mandatory. (Unless professional obligations intervene.)
    My favorite rule of all was the one about family game night. Uncle Andy made this rule because he didn’t want anybody to sit in their room and brood or mope. To encourage what my uncle called “wholesome social interaction,” he came up with the idea of having a game night every Friday.
    He got his hands on some old-fashioned board games. You know, games like Monopoly, Sorry! and Clue. You might not think that grown men would relate to games like that. But you would be very wrong. It wasn’t long before they were all playing Sorry! or Monopoly with unabashed zest. Everybody would shout and laugh or ask me to blow on the dice for good luck. It was a lot of fun.
    I tend to look back on those more innocent days with a lot of affection. For one thing, I had learned to be independent at a very early age. I had my own room and never had to share anything unless I wanted to. As long as I kept my grades up, and did my share of the household chores, I was treated like a reasonable facsimile of an adult.
    There were other benefits as well. You would be surprised at how many things you can learn from living with an assortment of small-time crooks, things that have nothing to do with avoiding the police. Some of these things can even be enlightening when it comes to understanding human nature.
    For example, I’ve always found Wally Whispers attitude very inspiring. Wally’s real name is Walter Gurski. But everybody calls him Wally Whispers because he can’t talk above a whisper. I asked him why he was unable to raise his voice, and he said it was because of an unfortunate encounter with a very angry individual. “I cannot elaborate any further,” explained Wally. “I do not wish to alter your viewpoint on the basic goodness of human nature.”
    That’s Wally for you—always very considerate. The reason he started teaching me how to pick locks is because I was in the habit of forgetting my house key. As a result, I would often have to wait a long time in the rain before Uncle Andy showed up. I started to complain to Wally that Uncle Andy wouldn’t let me leave a key under the mat. But Wally said that hiding a key outside your home was a very bad idea. “It is like having a neon sign on your doorstep that reads Please steal anything you consider valuable .”
    Then there are all the clever devices you can buy to hide a spare house key outdoors. “You can put your key inside a fake plastic rock that looks quite authentic from a certain distance,” Wally explained. “Also there is an outdoor thermostat with a hinge that opens up to miraculously reveal your key.”
    â€œThat sounds very clever to me,” I said.
    â€œOh yes, such gadgets are extremely clever,” agreed Wally. “Except for the fact that house burglars peruse the very same catalogues as the people who want to hide their keys.”
    Wally suggested that it would be way smarter for me to keep a skinny little tool called a lock pick buried in the flowerpot next to the front door. That way, I would not have to leave a spare key lying around for