The Orphan of Awkward Falls Read Online Free Page A

treatment pioneered here at A.D.I. Through the miracle of modern science, he has become a model patient. His violent nature and taste for human flesh have been virtually erased.”
    Stenchley’s wide, bloodshot eyes roamed the auditorium as the doctor spoke. The madman hadn’t been in the same room as this many people since entering the asylum.
    It was true that he had not indulged his appetite in a while, but it had very little to do with the Treatments he had been receiving. In fact, a rotten tooth had kept him from feeling much like bitinglately. He was much better now, however, after having wrenched the throbbing cuspid out of his mouth with his bare hands several days ago.
    “And now,” Dr. Herringbone said, clasping his hands together, “we will demonstrate for you the innovative procedure responsible for the transformation of Mr. Stenchley. It is known simply as the Level Three Treatment.”
    With that, the surgeons and technicians began bustling about the stage like ants at a picnic. One eagerly stuck a tube down Stenchley’s throat, while another attached an array of wires to various points over the length of his body. A third filled a long hypodermic needle with the contents of a bottle of blue liquid. Stenchley jerked as the needle was jammed into his neck.
    “Observe,” Dr. Herringbone said. “First we lift the scalp flap to access the skull-release panel.”
    A surgeon ripped back a large flap of scalp from Stenchley’s forehead, which had been held in place with Velcro. Then, with a power drill, he loosened two small screws at the hairline and lifted open the top half of the skull, as if he were opening the lid of a charcoal grill. The madman’s brain was now fully exposed.
    “As you can see, there is some minor discoloration of the patient’s temporal lobes,” Dr. Herringbone said, using an ink pen to point out the areas. The brain was greenish with fuzzy black blotches, like a moldy avocado. “Just a bit of bruising here, a harmless side effect of daily treatment,” he said, reassuringly. While the doctor spoke,another surgeon inserted wired spikes into Stenchley’s putrid brain, plugging the loose ends into a flashing console.
    Stenchley, having endured the procedure hundreds of times, looked only mildly uncomfortable, as if he were getting an extremely vigorous haircut.
    “Now we simply bring the generator up to speed and let the device work its magic.” A surgeon pushed a fader switch up the face of the console as high as it would go. The machine kicked into a higher gear, rattling noisily.
    Dr. Herringbone and the team of surgeons stepped back from the gurney. Stenchley’s body began to twitch and jerk. Little wisps of smoke curled up from the connection point of each wire on the madman’s quivering body. A smell not unlike Gorgonzola cheese filled the theater.
    In the audience, one of the orthodontists fainted into the lap of his neighbor, but the students and visiting doctors, who were less queasy by breed, leaned forward, watching even more closely.
    A surgeon shifted gears on the machine once more, and Stenchley’s cerebellum began to glow from within. His brain was now pulsing in and out like a slimy green lung, and his eyes looked as if they were going to blast right out of his head.
    The doctor lectured on blandly. “To the untrained eye, the patient may appear to be experiencing some discomfort, but I can assure you the Treatment is not only painless, but even somewhat soothing.”
    After ten more minutes of this, the machine began to cycle down again. The brain’s pulsing slowed, and it gradually settled back into its cavity. Stenchley’s body went limp on the gurney as the contraption hissed and jerked to a stop, steam shooting from its joints and connections. A colored lightbulb blew out and shattered on the floor.
    Applause broke out across the theater. The mayor and first lady stood and led the crowd in a standing ovation. The unconscious orthodontist came to, looking