Itâs been five years, but he still doesnât like to talk about her.
Itâs a relief when we arrive.
âFinally!â Wendy says as she opens the door. âIâm so glad you could make it. How are you? Howâs your head? Do you like potato salad? Everyoneâs out in the yard. We got a new grill and theyâre trying to figure out how to get it to work. Can you believe it?â
âThank you for having us,â says Dad.
âYour dress!â Wendy touches the silky fabric. âIs it new? I love it.â
âThanks.â I glance at my father but he is already halfway down the hall.
âAre you mad at me?â whispers Wendy.
âWhy would I be mad at you?â I am genuinely puzzled.
âBecause I called your dad and told him what happened.â
âIâm not mad,â I say. âI know you meant well.â
âI did mean well!â Wendy slips her arm through my arm, grinning, and when I blink she transforms into that little girl again. She is showing me around her house on our very first playdate. What do you want to do? Want to see my drawings? Or we can run outside. I have roller skates, do you?
âCome on, Lora,â says grown-up Wendy. âArenât you hungry?â
My voice is lost somewhere in the past, so I nod, and we go out to the backyard. Itâs crowded with Wendyâs family: her parents and her brother, plus aunts, uncles, and cousins. The adults are sitting around the table. The kids are roaming around the grass. I look for my dad. He appears wholly involved in conversation with two uncles.
âLora! We heard about your heroics today,â says Mrs. Laskey. Wendyâs mother is not as tall as Wendy, but just as slender, and looks so young that strangers occasionally mistake mother and daughter for sisters. Mrs. Laskey, of course, loves it when this happens. Wendy, of course, hates it.
âIt was nothing.â I jab my elbow into Wendyâs arm. She jabs me back.
âAre you kidding?â Tim materializes out of nowhere andsits next to me. âYou saved Ms. Pearl, my favorite teacher ever. In seventh grade she told me that girls would like me better if I stopped shooting spitballs into their hair. Best advice Iâve ever gotten.â
Wendy giggles and so does Mrs. Laskey, but I am statue-still, praying that the past stays past. Because I donât want to remember when I had that huge crush on Tim. I donât want to remember how I pined and pined, though I knew it was hopeless. Of course it was hopeless: Tim was older and funny and charming and popular and cute, so cute with his messy black hair and sleepy eyes and enormous laugh. And I was just that pesky girl who ran around with his kid sister.
I donât want to remember that, or what happened after that, so I concentrate on the hardness of my chair under my thighs. âHowâs college life?â I ask him, casual as can be.
âTerrible.â He sighs. âOn top of schoolwork and studying, last semester I was working at the lab twenty hours a week. All these responsibilities really get in the way of my social life.â
âDonât listen to him, he just loves complaining,â says Wendy. âWhenever I visit heâs playing computer games with all his nerd friends.â
Tim turns to his mother. âSheâs making it up,â he says. âI promise you, Mom, I would never have nerd friends.â
Mrs. Laskey beams at her bickering children. Itâs always loud and jolly at Wendyâs house, which I appreciate, and appreciate even more right nowâall these distractions seem to be holding back the memories. Perhaps my mind is too busy to gowandering into the past when there is so much to look at and listen to and laugh about and eat.
And there is so much to eat. Dinner is a feast of grilled meat and fish and vegetables and potato salad and fruit salad and green salad and zucchini pie. My aunt calls