demise. The paper had glossed over the fact that the governmentâs legislative agenda had scarcely missed a beat as Toohey deftly herded the hundred and fifty cats in the House of Representatives to relative order.
But as the online edition downloaded, Papadakis knew the latest numbers would tell their own devastating story without the paper applying the mix-master.
He plunged a half-cup of caffeine down his throat as he digested the horror.
TOOHEY HITS HISTORIC LOW
Support for the Toohey Government has crashed with Laborâs primary vote slumping below 30 per cent for the first time in Newspoll history.
Toohey, Papadakisâs political soul mate, would be dead but for the fact that his only possible challenger, Catriona Bailey, remained stricken in a Canberra hospital eighteen months after being felled by a stroke during an interview on the ABCâs Lateline .
The bastards at the Oz blithely ignored this inconvenient truth and kept including Bailey in their âpreferred prime ministerâ poll.
In further dire news for Martin Toohey, bed-ridden Foreign Minister Catriona Bailey remains an overwhelming favourite, out-ranking the Prime Minister as preferred leader by 44 per cent to just 17 per cent.
Mongrels.
The only sniff of good news was Emily Brooksâs continuing struggle to gain traction. The Opposition leader was paying a price for denying Bailey a parliamentary pair after her stroke stopped her attending Parliament. Focus group testing showed Brooks rated as cold and heartless. Voters were turned off by her calculating approach and Tory grandees were murmuring that sheâd have to soften her steely exterior.
The big winner in the poll was âOtherâ which had climbed to 20 per cent as voters turned away from the major parties.
Papadakis glanced out at the courtyard.
Who can blame them? We are our own worst enemy.
The Toohey Government had been the gift that kept giving for the press gallery. Any success was always trumped by spectacular own goals. Among a raft of contenders, the most extraordinary was Bruce Paxtonâs fall from ministerial grace. He had failed to declare that his first election campaign â way back in 1996 â had been funded in part by China Inc. That bombshell had nearly undone them.
Paxton, a one-time ally of Toohey, had initially accepted his demise, taking his place among the wasters and plodders on a surly backbench. He was thrown a few parliamentary crumbs and, for the most part, played the loyal footsoldier. But his mood changed when Toohey made it clear he would not be reinstated.
Heâd first sounded off to Lucy Gibbs, an ambitious press gallery newbie. Her story âPaxton Marks Toohey a Failâ was the first of many. Now he routinely threatened to resign from the Labor Caucus to sit on the crossbenches as an independent.
Despite his many failings Paxton wasnât the governmentâs biggest headache. That dubious honour went to Bailey who had an almost supernatural capacity to upstage the government. Her rock-star status had forced Toohey to retain her as Foreign Minister, despite her incapacity. And every time the PM was getting some traction, Bailey would steal the limelight.
Itâs like weâre trapped in a B-grade horror movie being stalked by the Zombie Queen.
And the diplomatic poseurs at the United Nations had made it worse by awarding Bailey a special peace prize based solely on the Foreign Ministerâs non-stop string of heartfelt Tweets during the early months of the Syria crisis.
Baileyâs online tirade had achieved nothing. Not a jot. But it triggered favourable press â which was just the kind of âactionâ those UN pretenders adored.
If she dies, weâre dead at the by-election. Catch 22. I wish I had stayed in Treasury.
Papadakis tried to calm the rage that pulsed within whenever he thought about Bailey. He turned back to his iPad. There was work to do. He had to think clearly to