The Lie Read Online Free Page B
you find out? Was he like praying over you at night and everything?”
“No. It was actually way worse than that. He asked me if I wanted to go to a Rangers game with him and some of his friends last week, and I had nothing better to do so I went. It turned out the friends were his prayer group or something like that and in the middle of the game this one chick who was with us stood up as everyone was trying to watch the game and started singing, ‘God is good, he is the master of all creation’ or some shit. Then all the other people, my roommate included, joined in. It was fucking terrible.”
That was the first time I said fuck in front of her. It just slipped out, but I was kind of interested in seeing her reaction. I always thought it was a good way to tell certain things about a person, to see how they react the first time you say fuck around them. If they don’t throw a shit or a crap or even a fuck of their own into the conversation after a few seconds, it seems like that person is probably a douchebag.
Her next three words were, “That fucking sucks.” She was no douchebag.
She said, “Well, if you ever need some place to chill for a few hours when you’ve had enough born-again bullshit, you can always come down to me and Annie’s room. We’re in two-twelve.”
I didn’t want to sound too desperate or overexcited so I choked out, “Really?”
She said, “Yeah. If we’re not out, we’re usually in our room smoking or drinking some beers. Don’t tell the RA.” She laughed again. “So you should come by.”
Again, not wanting to sound too overexcited I said, “When?”
She said, “What are you doing while your clothes dry?”
“I was just going to go back to my room and read some biology stuff.”
“Screw biology. Put your clothes in the dryer and let’s go smoke a bowl.”
I had never smoked weed before in my life. It wasn’t because I had any moral opposition to it—quite the opposite. I was and still am a big supporter of legalizing all victimless crimes. The only “drug” I had done at all up to that point was booze, though. I had been drunk a few times in high school, probably under ten total, but at that moment I would have injected two metric tons of black tar heroin into my fucking eyeball if it gave me even the most remote chance to have sex with Heather.
I said, “Okay, cool,” tossed my clothes in the dryer, and followed her to her room.
chapter five
I didn’t really know what was going to happen once he came to my room. Annie was gone when I went to do my laundry, but I didn’t know when she was coming back and, I mean, if she was there, probably nothing would happen. I couldn’t see us doing a double blowjob on him or anything—especially without E, and even though we were getting to be pretty good friends, if she was studying or something it wouldn’t have been cool to ask her to leave the room so I could try to have sex with Kyle. If Annie wasn’t there, though, I had a pretty good idea what would probably happen, but you can never tell with some guys, the weird guys, I mean. And Kyle was pretty weird. I mean the first time we met he didn’t even really have to put in any work to get me into his bed and he still didn’t try to have sex with me. Which was nice, I guess, but also pretty weird. I assumed since I was inviting him to my room this time he wouldn’t have whatever kind of mental hang-up he had that first time. But just in case, I’d get him high.
At that point I think I had actually had sex with five guys and had probably blown like around twenty-five or thirty or around there, like total, high school and college. I only had anal sex once and it was with my first boyfriend who I loved. I was pretty sure I’d never do it again because it wasn’t really fun, it kind of hurt, and I thought I should keep something special about my first love that I would never do with any other guy. But I guess I’d probably do it with my husband every once
“No. It was actually way worse than that. He asked me if I wanted to go to a Rangers game with him and some of his friends last week, and I had nothing better to do so I went. It turned out the friends were his prayer group or something like that and in the middle of the game this one chick who was with us stood up as everyone was trying to watch the game and started singing, ‘God is good, he is the master of all creation’ or some shit. Then all the other people, my roommate included, joined in. It was fucking terrible.”
That was the first time I said fuck in front of her. It just slipped out, but I was kind of interested in seeing her reaction. I always thought it was a good way to tell certain things about a person, to see how they react the first time you say fuck around them. If they don’t throw a shit or a crap or even a fuck of their own into the conversation after a few seconds, it seems like that person is probably a douchebag.
Her next three words were, “That fucking sucks.” She was no douchebag.
She said, “Well, if you ever need some place to chill for a few hours when you’ve had enough born-again bullshit, you can always come down to me and Annie’s room. We’re in two-twelve.”
I didn’t want to sound too desperate or overexcited so I choked out, “Really?”
She said, “Yeah. If we’re not out, we’re usually in our room smoking or drinking some beers. Don’t tell the RA.” She laughed again. “So you should come by.”
Again, not wanting to sound too overexcited I said, “When?”
She said, “What are you doing while your clothes dry?”
“I was just going to go back to my room and read some biology stuff.”
“Screw biology. Put your clothes in the dryer and let’s go smoke a bowl.”
I had never smoked weed before in my life. It wasn’t because I had any moral opposition to it—quite the opposite. I was and still am a big supporter of legalizing all victimless crimes. The only “drug” I had done at all up to that point was booze, though. I had been drunk a few times in high school, probably under ten total, but at that moment I would have injected two metric tons of black tar heroin into my fucking eyeball if it gave me even the most remote chance to have sex with Heather.
I said, “Okay, cool,” tossed my clothes in the dryer, and followed her to her room.
chapter five
I didn’t really know what was going to happen once he came to my room. Annie was gone when I went to do my laundry, but I didn’t know when she was coming back and, I mean, if she was there, probably nothing would happen. I couldn’t see us doing a double blowjob on him or anything—especially without E, and even though we were getting to be pretty good friends, if she was studying or something it wouldn’t have been cool to ask her to leave the room so I could try to have sex with Kyle. If Annie wasn’t there, though, I had a pretty good idea what would probably happen, but you can never tell with some guys, the weird guys, I mean. And Kyle was pretty weird. I mean the first time we met he didn’t even really have to put in any work to get me into his bed and he still didn’t try to have sex with me. Which was nice, I guess, but also pretty weird. I assumed since I was inviting him to my room this time he wouldn’t have whatever kind of mental hang-up he had that first time. But just in case, I’d get him high.
At that point I think I had actually had sex with five guys and had probably blown like around twenty-five or thirty or around there, like total, high school and college. I only had anal sex once and it was with my first boyfriend who I loved. I was pretty sure I’d never do it again because it wasn’t really fun, it kind of hurt, and I thought I should keep something special about my first love that I would never do with any other guy. But I guess I’d probably do it with my husband every once