The Last Straw Read Online Free Page B
Author: Jeff Kinney
what the deal was with the two-fruits thing. She said she always buys enough treats to last us the whole week, so one of us boys must've taken the snacks out of the bin in the laundry room.
I'm sure Mom thinks I'm the one stealing the snacks, but believe me, I already learned my lesson about doing THAT.
Last year I took treats out of the bin, but I totally paid the price for it when I opened my lunch bag at school and pulled out Mom's substitute snack.
[Image: A boy talks to the others at the table.] The caption reads: "WOULD ONE OF YOU GENTLEMEN CARE TO TRADE SOMETHING FOR A PACK OF CROUTONS?"
69
Today at lunch it was the same exact thing: two fruits and no snacks.
Like I said, I really depend on the boost I get from that sugar. I almost fell asleep in Mr. Watson's class in sixth period, but luckily I snapped awake when my head hit the back of my chair.
[Image: A teacher teaching the boys in a class.] The caption reads: "WOOOZAA!"
When I got home, I told Mom it wasn't fair someone else was eating the treats and I was having to suffer. But she said she wasn't going to go grocery shopping until the end of the week, and that I'd just have to "make do" until then.
70
Dad wasn't any help, either. When I complained to him, he just made up a penalty for anyone caught stealing snacks, which was "no drums and no video games for a week." So obviously he thinks it's either me or Rodrick.
Like I said, it's not ME, but I figured Dad might be right about Rodrick. When Rodrick went up to the bathroom after dinner, I walked down to his room to see if I could find any wrappers or crumbs.
But while I was poking around in Rodrick's room, I heard him coming downstairs. I had to hide quick, because for some reason Rodrick gets really bent out of shape when he catches me in his room, like he did yesterday.
[Image: Three boys in the music room.] The caption reads: "HEY, LOOK AT ME!"
71
Right before Rodrick got to the bottom of the stairs, I dove into his desk cabinet and shut the door. Rodrick walked in the room, then flopped on his bed and called his friend Ward.
Rodrick and Ward talked FOREVER, and I was starting to think I might have to spend the night in that desk.
[Image: A boy resting in his room.]
Rodrick and Ward got into a pretty heated debate about whether or not a person could throw up while standing on their head, and I started to feel like I was gonna throw up myself. Luckily, right around then, the phone's battery died. When Rodrick went upstairs to get the spare phone, I made a run for it.
72
This snack thing wouldn't even be an issue if I had money. If I did, I could just buy something from the vending machine at school every day.
At the moment, though, I'm kind of broke. That's because I wasted all my money on some junk I can't even USE.
About a month ago, I saw these ads in the back of one of my comic books, and I sent away for a couple of things that were supposed to TOTALLY change my life.
[Image: Advertisements.]
73
I started receiving my stuff in the mail about two weeks ago.
The Cash Machine turned out to be some stupid magic trick where you have to insert your OWN money in this secret slot for it to work. And that wasn't good, because I was really counting on that thing to get me out of having to find a job when I grow up.
[Image: A boy sitting on his bed.]
The X-Ray Goggles just made you see blurry and cross-eyed, so that was a bust, too.
[Image: Two girls laughing as the boy wearing the glasses trips on the road.]
The caption reads: "OOF!"]
74
The Throw Your Voice thing didn't work at ALL, even though I followed the instructions in the book.
[Image: A boy looks at the other talking to a girl.] The caption reads: ""I'M AN IDIOT."
"I'M AN IDIOT."
WHAT THE HECK?"
But the item I had the highest hopes for was the Personal Hovercraft. I figured getting home after school would be a breeze once my hovercraft finally showed up in the mail.
[Image: Four children look at the boy flying past on his
I'm sure Mom thinks I'm the one stealing the snacks, but believe me, I already learned my lesson about doing THAT.
Last year I took treats out of the bin, but I totally paid the price for it when I opened my lunch bag at school and pulled out Mom's substitute snack.
[Image: A boy talks to the others at the table.] The caption reads: "WOULD ONE OF YOU GENTLEMEN CARE TO TRADE SOMETHING FOR A PACK OF CROUTONS?"
69
Today at lunch it was the same exact thing: two fruits and no snacks.
Like I said, I really depend on the boost I get from that sugar. I almost fell asleep in Mr. Watson's class in sixth period, but luckily I snapped awake when my head hit the back of my chair.
[Image: A teacher teaching the boys in a class.] The caption reads: "WOOOZAA!"
When I got home, I told Mom it wasn't fair someone else was eating the treats and I was having to suffer. But she said she wasn't going to go grocery shopping until the end of the week, and that I'd just have to "make do" until then.
70
Dad wasn't any help, either. When I complained to him, he just made up a penalty for anyone caught stealing snacks, which was "no drums and no video games for a week." So obviously he thinks it's either me or Rodrick.
Like I said, it's not ME, but I figured Dad might be right about Rodrick. When Rodrick went up to the bathroom after dinner, I walked down to his room to see if I could find any wrappers or crumbs.
But while I was poking around in Rodrick's room, I heard him coming downstairs. I had to hide quick, because for some reason Rodrick gets really bent out of shape when he catches me in his room, like he did yesterday.
[Image: Three boys in the music room.] The caption reads: "HEY, LOOK AT ME!"
71
Right before Rodrick got to the bottom of the stairs, I dove into his desk cabinet and shut the door. Rodrick walked in the room, then flopped on his bed and called his friend Ward.
Rodrick and Ward talked FOREVER, and I was starting to think I might have to spend the night in that desk.
[Image: A boy resting in his room.]
Rodrick and Ward got into a pretty heated debate about whether or not a person could throw up while standing on their head, and I started to feel like I was gonna throw up myself. Luckily, right around then, the phone's battery died. When Rodrick went upstairs to get the spare phone, I made a run for it.
72
This snack thing wouldn't even be an issue if I had money. If I did, I could just buy something from the vending machine at school every day.
At the moment, though, I'm kind of broke. That's because I wasted all my money on some junk I can't even USE.
About a month ago, I saw these ads in the back of one of my comic books, and I sent away for a couple of things that were supposed to TOTALLY change my life.
[Image: Advertisements.]
73
I started receiving my stuff in the mail about two weeks ago.
The Cash Machine turned out to be some stupid magic trick where you have to insert your OWN money in this secret slot for it to work. And that wasn't good, because I was really counting on that thing to get me out of having to find a job when I grow up.
[Image: A boy sitting on his bed.]
The X-Ray Goggles just made you see blurry and cross-eyed, so that was a bust, too.
[Image: Two girls laughing as the boy wearing the glasses trips on the road.]
The caption reads: "OOF!"]
74
The Throw Your Voice thing didn't work at ALL, even though I followed the instructions in the book.
[Image: A boy looks at the other talking to a girl.] The caption reads: ""I'M AN IDIOT."
"I'M AN IDIOT."
WHAT THE HECK?"
But the item I had the highest hopes for was the Personal Hovercraft. I figured getting home after school would be a breeze once my hovercraft finally showed up in the mail.
[Image: Four children look at the boy flying past on his
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