Henry to have Savanna invite Summer to the Halloween party at her house. I figured I could hang out with her and maybe even ask her to go out with me. That didn’t work, though, because she ended up leaving the party early. And ever since then, she’s been spending all her time with the freak.
Okay, okay. I know it’s not nice to call him “the freak,” but like I said before, people have to start being a little less sensitive around here! It’s only a joke, everyone! Don’t take me so seriously! I’m not being mean. I’m just being funny.
And that’s all I was doing, being totally funny, the day that Jack Will punched me. I had been totally joking! Fooling around.
I didn’t see it coming at
all
!
The way I remember it, we were just goofing together, and all of a sudden, he whacks me in the mouth for no reason! Boom!
And I was like,
Owwwww! You crazy jerkface! You punched me? You actually punched me?
And the next thing I know, I’m in Nurse Molly’s office, holding one of my teeth in my hand, and Mr. Tushman is there, and I hear him on the phone with my mom saying they’re taking me to the hospital. I could hear my mom screaming on the other end of the line. Then Ms. Rubin, the dean, is leading me into the backof an ambulance and we’re on the way to a hospital! Crazy stuff!
When we were riding in the ambulance, Ms. Rubin asked me if I knew why Jack hit me. I was like,
duh, because he’s totally insane!
Not that I could talk much, because my lips were swollen and there was blood all over my mouth.
Ms. Rubin stayed with me in the hospital until Mom showed up. Mom was more than a little hysterical, as you can imagine. She was crying kind of dramatically every time she saw my face. It was, I have to admit, a little embarrassing.
Then Dad showed up.
“Who did this?” was the first thing he said, shouting at Ms. Rubin.
“Jack Will,” answered Ms. Rubin calmly. “He’s with Mr. Tushman now.”
“Jack Will?” cried Mom in shock. “We know the Wills! How could that happen?”
“There will be a thorough investigation,” answered Ms. Rubin. “Right now, what’s most important is that Julian’s going to be fine.…”
“Fine?” yelled Mom. “Look at his face! Do you think that’s fine? I don’t think that’s fine. This is outrageous. What kind of school is this? I thought kids didn’t punch each other at a school like Beecher Prep. I thought that’s why we pay forty thousand dollars a year, so that our kids don’t get hurt.”
“Mrs. Albans,” said Ms. Rubin, “I know you’re upset.…”
“I’m assuming the kid will get expelled, right?” said Dad.
“Dad!” I yelled.
“We will definitely deal with this matter in the appropriate way, I promise,” answered Ms. Rubin, trying to keep her voice calm. “And now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll leave you guys alone for a bit. The doctor will be back and you can check in with him, but he said that nothing was broken. Julian’s fine. Helost a lower first molar, but that was on its way out anyway. He’s going to give him some pain medication and you should keep icing it. Let’s talk more in the morning.”
It was only then that I realized that poor Ms. Rubin’s blouse and skirt were completely covered in my blood. Boy, mouths do bleed a lot!
Later that night, when I could finally talk again without it hurting, Mom and Dad wanted to know every detail of what had happened, starting with what Jack and I had been talking about right before he hit me.
“Jack wath upthet becauth he wath paired up with the deformed kid,” I answered. “I told him he could thwitch partnerth if he wanted to. And then he punched me!”
Mom shook her head. That was it for her. She was literally madder than I’d ever seen her before (and I’ve seen my mom pretty mad before, believe me!).
“This is what happens, Jules!” she said to Dad, crossing her arms and nodding quickly. “This is what happens when you make little kids deal with