said, glancing sharply toward the workshops behind them. Wool spinners and weavers were returning to conclude their dayâs labors but paying no attention to anyone near the latrine. âThatâs almost blasphemy to say you could do better than God.â
âI think it is blasphemy, or it would be if I meant it.â Roryâs voice dropped. âBut anyone can see that some of the rules come from men, not from God. How long would
people inhabit His earth to worship Him if we were all pure and chaste? Heâd have to create new men from mud.â
Aidan chomped hard on a grin. âYou think Heâd rather put up with a few carnal sinners?â
âIt was His idea, obviously. If we werenât meant to come together like animals, He could have made us more like plants.â Rory brushed his toes through the dust, musing. âGod is probably relieved when monks and priests just take wives and donât try to pretend. Fewer virgin births for the angels to herald that way.â
âAi. Youâd better never talk like that around anyone else,â Aidan warned, again eyeing the yard behind them. âEven the other novices might turn you in.â
âAh, thatâs why youâll take vows before I ever will, my brother. Youâre not more devoted. Just more cautious, I guess.â He stepped past Aidan toward one side of the latrine.
Aidan stopped him with a grip on his arm. Roryâs glib tone had fallen flat. The older novice looked for a jest in his friendâs pallid gray eyes. None lay there.
âDo you question your calling, Rory?â
Rory gazed back, clearly wondering not how to answer, but whether he should.
âYou can trust me,â Aidan murmured. âI wonât say anything.â
With one hand, Rory smoothed the coarse cloth over
his chest. âI didnât have much choice about coming here,â he said, speaking to the ground at their feet. âLess than you, even. My parents gave me and my younger brother to God so the rest wouldnât starve. But, Aidanââ He looked up. âHave you ever heard Godâs voice? Actually heard it speaking, I mean? Or an angelâs?â
Aidan hesitated. The humming of numbers was not quite a voice, and although he hoped it came from God, he certainly didnât hear it as words.
âNot exactly,â he said. He held his breath, gathering nerve to say more. âBut Iââ
âI have,â Rory said, his face more unreadable than Aidan had ever seen it. âOnce. I was told that I will face Christâs judgment in heaven before long and reminded to complete as much of His work as I can in the days I have left. Thatâs why I always volunteer to hand out the alms to the hungry. But I doubt I will ever take the tonsure and have a bald place shaved on my head.â
Aidan wanted to tell Rory he must have been wrong about the voice or its message. He couldnât do it. Even if he had never heard anything mystic himself, he had his own suspicions about his friendâs health. Roryâs admission confirmed them.
While Aidan gnawed his lip and wondered what else he could say, Rory grinned.
âThat doesnât mean I want to see you go astray. If Iâm
wrong, Iâll just be a lay brother working the fields or cutting stone for the new church. Only tonsured monks get to be scribes. So I figure my good works should include keeping a sharp eye on your soul. Forget about that girl.â
Rory pulled free and slipped inside the privy before Aidan could collect his wits to respond. His eyes scoured the packed earth of the yard while his mind retraced Roryâs words. The idea that he was being watched and guided by a younger friend felt backward and shameful. Worse, he feared Rory was probably right.
IV
R oryâs shocking admission briefly pushed Lana from Aidanâs mind. Not long after the two novices signaled a farewell outside the privy, however,