The Healing (The Things We Can't Change Book 3) Read Online Free Page A

talking lately.
    Damn. She’s really crying, sobbing, actually. I hate crying girls. I never know what to do. I try to play it cool and shrug.
    “I heard enough.”
    There’s a long moment of silence, and she doesn’t say anything, just sits there and cries. I swallow nervously, hating that I feel so awkward because I know I need to say something, hopefully something that will make her feel better.
    “I’m sorry she doesn’t believe you,” I finally offer, because it seems like a fairly safe comment.
    Evie jumps to her feet and advances a few steps toward me, anger sparking in her violet eyes. “So that’s it,” she snorts. “Now that you know Tony didn’t just beat me, you’ll speak to me. Because you feel sorry for me. Poor Evie, she was stupid enough to stay with an abusive boyfriend and then he raped her, let’s all feel sorry for her now!”
    I flinch at the word ‘rape.’ It seems so harsh and I can hardly believe that she can say it so carelessly.
    “Well, here’s a newsflash, Zeke.” She faces me squarely, eyes hard and fists clenched at her sides. “I don’t need your fucking pity, okay? Yours or anyone else’s. So you can just get the hell away from me.”
    She immediately presents with her back, but I linger, standing at the edge of the entrance of the gazebo, trying to gather my thoughts. I can’t just leave without saying anything at all, because guilt is attacking me now. She tried to reach out, that first day I came back, and I pushed her away. That feels cold now, even though why she would try and cling to me, I have no idea. My list of problems is no shorter than hers.
    After what feels like forever, I feel I’ve gained some control and finally speak. “I’m not trying to give you pity,” I say. “I know what it feels like, getting people’s sad looks and shaking their heads at you. But I just thought, well, maybe you needed to know that what he did to you was wrong. And it’s not your fault. At all, Evie.”
    And then I walk away, before I can say anything else that might damage my reputation.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

 
     
     
     
     
    Evangeline
    47
     
     
     
    For several days I alternate between being glad that Zeke found out and wanting to take advantage of the pity I saw in his eyes to make him talk to me, and then the other extreme of hating and feeling ashamed that he knows. The shame is strongest and I have no doubt that it always will be. Even if by some miracle I manage to heal and move on, I know I’ll always feel ashamed by the fact that it even happened, that I allowed it.
    Zeke told me it wasn’t my fault, and in most ways I know that it isn’t. Not that part, at least. But I’ll always regret that I wasn’t strong enough to stop Tony, that I didn’t try harder to get away, especially the second time. I can’t change it now, though. It’s all done and somehow, some way, I have to accept it. I know it won’t be today, however. Or tomorrow. Probably not next week, or even next month.
    Even though Zeke sometimes gives worried glances at the house now and then, I find myself sinking deeper and don’t watch him as long as I used to. He doesn’t come in to try and talk, nor do I go out and try to approach him, because despair wins out and I stay cooped up in my dad’s office.
    I come downstairs less and less, don’t really even know when the last time I left or ate was. Clarissa doesn’t ever check on me. In fact, the day of her cruise comes and goes and she and Hunter don’t even tell me goodbye. I only hear a car start up one morning, and it never comes back.
    After they’re gone and I’m well and truly alone, I allow the feelings of shame and repulsion to fill me. I claw at my skin as I remember how Zeke looked at me after he found out. It’s a secret I would have preferred to take with me to the grave, and never have I felt so dirty.
    Dirty, filthy, damaged goods. Not a person; not any longer. I am just…