The Girl of Diamonds and Rust (The Half Shell Series Book 3) Read Online Free Page B

kicks me out.”
    They laugh, and I fight not to let show how much that jab hurt me. Neil was only teasing, messing with me like he likes to do, but I still feel badly about how I treated Neil. I miss him more than I ever thought I would, and every lighthearted taunt seems to hold an edge and bite today.
    Rene taps Neil on the chest with an index finger. “I’ve got plans tonight, but your ass is mine in the morning. I don’t have class until noon. Why don’t we go out, grab some breakfast, kick around Berkeley for a while?”
    “Deal,” Neil says as Rene springs up from the couch. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears into her bedroom and then turns to give me a heavily exasperated look. “I will never get used to it when Rene is being nice.”
    “I told you she would be glad you’re here.”
    His expression changes and something about his eyes makes me tense. “Are you glad I’m here or is this hard for you? I can’t quite figure out what I’m feeling from you.”
    Crap . I take in a deep breath to steady myself. “I’m just going through some stuff, Neil. It’s no big deal. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. I’m really happy you’re here. It’s just me. OK?”
    Neil leans into me, his eyes filled with concern. “Anything serious?”
    I struggle to hold back my words. For some reason, the second Neil walked through my door the urge to blurt out my problems to him has been almost overpowering.
    I shift my gaze away from his. “Nothing serious. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want ruin you being here with my lame drama.”
    He lifts my chin so I have no choice but to meet his eyes. “Lame drama, huh? Nope, not buying it, Chrissie. Tell me what’s wrong. I can tell when something is pretty fucked in your world. I’ll help however I can.”
    When I don’t answer him, Neil shakes his head, exasperated, and pulls me against him.
    “God, you’re really frustrating at times. Most girls can’t wait to tell you their shit, and it’s like pulling teeth to get you to say anything about anything even when I ask you to.”
    I roll my eyes, and try to manage a don’t make a big deal of this kind of face. “I’m just fucked up that way.”
    “You’re not fucked up in any way.” He lets out a long, sort of angry exhale of breath. “I hate that you say that about yourself. I’d like to kick the shit out of whoever said that to you and made you believe it.”
    I can feel my eyes start to burn with tears and I don’t want them to. I don’t know how he can think I’m not a fucked-up girl after how I treated him, but then Neil has never known me the way Alan does. It was Alan who said that to me— you’re a pretty fucked-up girl —but he said it for a good reason, to try to help me, back when he used to care about me.
    I bury my face against Neil’s chest. Into his shirt, I whisper, “I’ve fucked up big this time. If I told you everything, you would hate me. And I don’t want you to hate me. Not ever.”
    Neil’s arms tighten around me. “Nothing would ever make me hate you, Chrissie. Whatever is going on it’s going to be OK. Talk to me. I want to help. We’ll figure out together how to fix whatever has got you so worried and afraid.”
    Worried and afraid? How can he see that? That’s how I feel today. I just didn’t know it showed.
    I turn in his arms to put space between us. His eyes are lush green and unguarded, and something in his gaze nearly makes the words spill from me.
    “I’m sorry I’m such a pain,” I whisper.
    “You’re not a pain. We’re friends. Friends help each other during the shitty times. I’m glad I’m here at a time when you need me. It’s one of the things I did wrong. One of the things I regret. Not being here for you as much as you were always here for me. Tell me what’s going on, Chrissie. There is no point pretending things are OK. Not with me, and I want to help. I owe you a lot.”
    Neil means that, but somehow it makes