The Fowler Family Business Read Online Free Page B

The Fowler Family Business
Book: The Fowler Family Business Read Online Free
Author: Jonathan Meades
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private matter. It was family business.
    ‘I am your family too.’
    That is going too far, thought Henry. That is above and beyond. ‘In a different sense,’ he sneered.
    Naomi sobbed. She spoke his name, lengthened it imploringly. ‘I’m your wife Henry – that’s family.’
    ‘Yes, yes.’
    ‘And when someone speaks to you like that …’
    ‘Someone? Someone? You call my father
someone
… like, like he’d wandered in off the street. God.’
    ‘Henry you’re not a child. They may treat you like you’re still ten …’
    ‘He was
right.
That’s all there is to it. Nothing to do with being treated like a child. He was right. I fucked up. I am his son, and Fowler & Son does not fuck up. I was out of line. No question. He was right. So he gives me a bollocking and that’s that. I can take it. No big deal,’ he lied, stretching to save lost face with front rather than conviction. She had heard them. She had heard her husband repeat: ‘Bobby Camino … Bobby Camino … Bobby Camino …’
    And she heard her father-in-law: ‘Even if he had been this Bob, Bobby … What sort of name’s that? Camino.’
    ‘Not his
real
name, Dad – Doug Truss s’matter of—’
    ‘I don’t care if he’s calling himself Dr Crippen and Ethel le Neve.’
    ‘Dad. You used to hum along to it. “Teresa, Tayrasor, Trasor, Tayrayayaysoar.” You used to sing along with me. I still got it – Top Rank.’
    ‘What? Henry – you’ve got to take control. He gave me his card. Norman Idmiston.’
    ‘It’s b’cause he was a one-hit wonder – he’s changed his name. Again.’
    ‘He’s a barrister. LLB, MA Oxon. Rope Court, Middle Temple.’
    She heard nothing. Henry did not reply. He must have stood there with his mouth open.
    ‘We reflect society,’ Mr Fowler told him. ‘And I’m afraid my boy that the only section of society your behaviour this afternoon reflected was our friends the unwashed jackanapes, the great unwashed, the ingrates. The United States is our ally. You don’t burn your ally’s flag. We’d be speaking Germ—what I mean is we’ve got a lot to thank Uncle Sam for.’
    ‘I couldn’t agree more Dad.’
    ‘You’re not there as Henry Fowler, Henry. You’re there in a ritual role. Like the Queen … We have to preserve our mystery. That’ll be what shocked Mr Idmiston – not that you’d got him mixed up with this Bobby chap but that you broke the spell. That’s what it is – I’ve thought long and deep about our calling as you know Henry. And the one thing you cannot do under any circumstances is reveal what I like to call the human beneath the hat. If you were anyone else Henry you’d be looking at probation. And I’d dock your wages if you weren’t a newly married man. It’s not just Fowler & Son, it’s the whole profession – we’re butlers to the dead, we’re a caste and we stand together, abide by the caste’s code.’
    ‘It was wishful thinking – you know, I let it get the better of me. I suppose I must have wanted him to be Bobby Camino.’
    ‘You haven’t been listening have you Henry. What I’m saying is, even if this Bobby Camino does attend a funeral where you’re there in an official capacity you do not on any account go running after him asking for his autograph. Not if it’s Warren Mitchell or Dick Emery or Gerald Harper or Ted Moult you do not even if you are right about who it is. Do you read me? There’s no place for Mateys in Fowler & Son, no place whatsoever.’
    ‘Yeah, of course – but I wouldn’t with them anyway – it’s just that “Teresa” … It’s about Stanley. That’s what it’s about.’ And Henry Fowler hangs his head.
    ‘Teresa’, written by Doug Truss, Joe Meek and Mike Penny, was recorded by Joe Meek at his makeshift studio above Messrs Kaplan’s handbag-and-suitcase shop at 417 Holloway Road N7 in June 1961. Roger Laverne (né Jackson) and Heinz (Burt) played organ and bass. The record’s release on the Top Rank label was
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