tempt
you?”
This was the moment. This
choice, at this point would set the whole future in motion. I
hesitated and Blake seemed slightly surprised which I found to my
surprise a little irritating. Sensing my indecision he shuffled
slightly, not quite so sure of himself as he had been.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you probably
have to be somewhere after class. It was rude of me to assume you
didn’t have other commitments.”
He turned to move away and as
he did, I was grabbed by an extreme sense of panic. The moment was
about to slip through my fingers, “No!” I blurted out rather too
loudly. “I mean, no, I don’t have anywhere to be after class.” My
stomach lurched.
Blake smiled at me holding out
his hand for his coat which I realised with yet more embarrassment,
I’d been hugging tightly to my chest. We made our way out of the
side gate walking side by side with the tantalising understanding
that it would have been natural for us to reach out and take each
others hand but knowing it was wildly off limits. It was only when
we were half-way down the road that I realised all of this had
happened outside the window of Sam’s Maths class, giving him a ring
side view.
Blake and I walked most of the
way into town in silence and I wondered if Blake was truly aware of
the enormity of what I was doing. I shifted my thoughts to more
abstract things, like the feel of my leather gloves, the snow
flakes on my velvet jacket, the crunch of the snow underfoot, the
flash of red from a robin. Things that were delicious but harmless
and somehow in Blake’s presence they all seemed more delicious than
I’d ever noticed.
*
I was brought back to reality
by the quaint ring of the brass bell above the bookshop door. Blake
pushed the door open, striding backwards so that I could go through
first. His old world charm struck me as out of place and it made me
smile in a way which he’d probably not intended it to.
We made our way to the back of
the shop and ordered two mugs of creamy hot chocolate, with
marshmallows on top for me and nutmeg for him, before settling down
into a sofa each. At last the tension caused the silence to
break.
“I’ve got a bit of a confession
to make,” he said looking slightly uneasy, “there’s a reason I
asked you to come here with me and it’s going to sound like a
really embarrassing cliché so I apologise in advance.” He smiled a
wry smile and took a deep breath. “Here goes; I’m certain that I’ve
met you before but I don’t know where or how?”
“You’re right, that was lame.”
I laughed. “I’m positive that we haven’t met before,” I replied,
certain I’d have remembered.
“But you see, we must have
done,” he said with an odd certainty.
“No, really…” I nodded. “You’re
confusing me with someone else.”
“No, I don’t think so…” he
coughed with embarrassment, “You see I must have met you before
because for the past three years I’ve dreamt of you.” He blushed
and took refuge in his hot chocolate.
Laughter burst out of me before
I had a chance to stop it and I saw from Blake’s reaction that he
was being deadly serious. My laughter turned to confusion, “I’m
sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“I did warn you I was about to
make a fool of myself and I wasn’t going to say anything, but I
need to know - I need to know how it’s possible that you - and it
is you - have been in my dreams for three years when both of
us are convinced that we first met only a couple of days ago. If it
helps, I do know this sounds crazy so that’s good because it means
I’m not actually crazy,” he said with a nervous laugh.
I looked over to the counter,
embarrassed by the intensity of his gaze. “If it helps I’ve a
special – um - I mean strange feeling about you too. Oh god, did I
say that - that came out wrong. I mean it’s not as if I think
you’re odd or weird or ...” I blushed realising I’d fallen into a
tangle of words that