options,â said Gennady, handing me a red party cup. I took a sniff. Just Coke, no wodka . âNow on the other hand, we could have used the options.â
I nearly choked on my drink. âYou missed your calling, Gennady. You should have gone into standup.â
Gennady and Tom had been employees number two and three at my college cyber-security startup. Iâd invented an entirely new approach to detect computer viruses, but didnât have the mathematical background to make it work, or the business acumen to make it a success. Gennady, a brilliant applied mathematics major, and Tom, a physics major and business savant, were the perfect partners. I, of course, did all the programming.
After about twenty-four months of stealth R&D in Tomâs parentsâ guesthouse, we shipped a new crowd-sourced antivirus technology that put existing security products to shame. Word spread, and the product was free, so within nine months on the market, weâd reached one hundred and sixty million users, surpassing ViruTrax as the worldâs most popular antivirus vendor. In a bout of desperation, ViruTrax offered us seventy-five million for our company; we settled for two hundred and ninety. Gennady and Tom had wisely cashed out and declined employment, but I promised to stay on a year as a condition to close the deal.
âSo howâs the new startup going?â I asked.
Tom looked at Gennady and smirked.
âKaput,â said Gennady. âOur VC funding ran out, and neither of us is willing to put any more of our own cash in.â
âNot to mention that the product sucks,â said Tom, just a little slur in his voice.
Gennady glared at Tom a moment, then nodded grudgingly. âItâs true. So basically weâre trying to figure out our next project. So what have you been up to, Alex?â he asked. âTraveling the world in a private mega-yacht? Ascending Mount Everest?â
I thought a moment. âClimbing, eating, sleeping.â I took a drink. âAnd I think Iâm having a midlife crisis too.â
âWowâyouâve been busy,â said Gennady in his odd Russian-Texan accent. âMidlife crisis? At what, twenty-six?â
âTwenty-five.â
âSame difference.â He picked up a tumbler of some opaque alcoholic concoction from the coffee table and sipped. âTry buying a dacha in St. Petersburg and getting a new nineteen-year-old girlfriend. That worked for my dad.â
I pulled out my smartphone and pretended to scrawl with my finger on the screen. âNineteen-year-old girlfriend. Check. Vacation home in former Soviet Union. Check.â I nodded. âGot it. Thanks man.â
Sue began giggling.
âLetâs create another startup,â said Tom. âNothing like ninety-hour workweeks to give your life meaning.â
It wasnât a half-bad idea if I could just find a project I was passionate about; I needed something challenging to do soon or Iâd die of sheer boredom.
âIâll give that some thought as well,â I said, gazing around the room at Tom and Gennadyâs slovenly home-slash-headquarters. Why the two of them still lived together like college students when both could buy mega-mansionsâfor cashâwas an enigma. Then again, who was I to judge; I lived in a tract home on low-fat microwave burritos and slept on a purple IKEA futon.
âHowâs Julie,â asked Sue, changing the subject.
âUmmm ⦠She dumped me two months ago.â
âSorry, Alex.â Sue squeezed my hand, then said, âI didnât like her anyway. No big loss.â
âBrutal,â said Gennady, shaking his head. âI think we need to go on a bender to fix Alex up.â
âBen-der!â yelled one of the Russians from behind.
âNah, Iâm good. Iâm just in a lull.â
The doorbell rang.
âBe right back.â Gennady made his way to the door. âPizzaâs