The First Last Kiss Read Online Free Page B

Road
Leigh-on-Sea
SS19 4BL
    I furrow my brow as I study it. It’s my old married name. None of my family or friends use it any more, so who . . . ?
    I rip open the envelope and pull out a New Home card. I open it up and begin to read;
Dear Molly,
How are you? I hope you don’t mind me writing like this but I was in contact recently with a mutual acquaintance and they mentioned you were moving away. I didn’t want you to leave without having a chance to send you my best wishes for a happy future. I hope you remembered my advice; to choose happiness and never live with regret. I think of you often and hope you are all well.
Fondest wishes,
Charlie
    I feel my heart contract. The name conjures up feelings and memories I’m trying to ignore today. I glance at the card again. I know it’s a nice gesture but find I this contact strange after so long – and after everything that happened. It brings back memories, both good and bad.

The Kiss And Tell
    It’s funny how someone can come into your life unexpectedly and instantly make you feel like you can say anything to them, anything at all. Things you wouldn’t dream of telling your nearest and dearest. And suddenly they become an intrinsic part of your life without you really knowing anything about them. That’s what happened with Charlie. I bared my soul in a way I’d never done with anyone.

FF>> 29/05/07>
    It feels strange pouring out my heart to another man in a bar like this. I feel like I must have ‘Traitorous Wench’ emblazoned on my forehead and everyone must know this handsome, attentive man isn’t my boyfriend. And we’ve come to our local pub, for Christ sakes. What was I thinking? I’ll never be able to look the barman in the eye again.
    ‘So come on, what’s going on?’ Charlie says, leaning in towards me and resting his elbows on his knees. His gaze is so tender that it’s all the encouragement I need to launch into a melancholy monologue.
    ‘Sorry,’ I say, apologizing for the billionth time. ‘It’s just sometimes I feel like I can’t take it any more. I look at him and I don’t know who he is, I don’t know what he’s thinking, or feeling. We’re not communicating properly, you know? We’re existing alongside each other, pretending everything’s OK when it isn’t. It really isn’t. I know what the right thing to do is, but I don’t want to be the one who says it first.’ I shake my head, feeling awful for laying all this on him. ‘I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do this . . . ’ I glance up nervously at the busy bar, full of young, Hackney hipsters. I feel old, withered, past it and I’m not even thirty. I glance back at Charlie, not only is he gorgeous, he is so interested and interesting. So caring and kind. Kind of too good to be true, really. If only there were more like him in the world. I blink at him.
    ‘Hey, you know you can tell me anything,’ Charlie says, putting his drink down and touching my hand gently. I love how his eyes never leave mine when I’m talking. I feel like no one has looked at me like this for a long time.
    ‘I’m just waiting for him to make the first move,’ I say. He studies me closely and then looks down before he speaks. I don’t like it when he looks away. Nothing good is ever said when people look away from you.
    ‘Listen, Molly, I know how hard this is for you, I do. But I have to ask this, how much more do you think you can take?’
    He looks at me searchingly as he waits for my answer, and now I find I can’t look him in the eye. I look up at the ceiling, blinking furiously to stop the tears. Then I look back at him, pleadingly. I don’t want to answer, I just want him to hug me, hold me.
    He must hear my thoughts. He reaches out and takes my hand. I can’t help noticing how soft his hands are, not a callous on them. I look down. And he has nice nails. I love nice nails on a man. It shows he takes care of himself.
    ‘Molly,’ he says gently, ‘I know you don’t want to