Even so, he didn't look too confident as he stepped toward her. “I should probably apologize, right?”
“Oh, no, it's far too late for an apology,” Lisa said. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. How could she reach that high? “You did something very wrong, Drew. Very wrong. But it's all right. I've already forgiven you. Ok?” She snuggled up against him, rather suggestively. I didn't know whether I should keep watching or sneak out.
“Well, that's good, I guess?” Drew looked at me as if I could predict what she'd do next. I didn't know the girl, but she seemed cute and nice, if a little energetic. It wasn't as if she was going to attack him.
“But you did do something wrong. You know what you did, don't you?” Lisa's tone was silky smooth and infinitely dangerous. There was something going here that I was missing and I didn't know what it was. Jess was grinning like a cat and Max covered his face with his hand, then shook his head.
“I think so?” Drew was starting to sweat. He looked from side to side, but there was no escape.
“Then you realize that when you do something wrong, you need to be punished, right?”
“I'd much rather not-”
Lisa's knee lifted sharply, at a very unpleasant angle for Drew. I realized at that moment that I was very wrong about her. His eyes went wide and he made a strangled noise, an uncomfortable noise, a noise that I had made once or twice during my life as well. “That, my dearest Andrew, is why you shouldn't stand a girl up. It gets them upset.” Lisa's voice was sultry and dark and it promised things I didn't want any part of. Drew didn't reply, not even when she let go. He pressed his hands to his crotch, spun, staggered, and collapsed onto the lower bunk. His head clunked against the wall and then he curled up into a ball.
I found that I had turned sideways. Jess caught my eye and snickered. It was time to cut our losses and retreat. “So, Max, do you think it's time to take our leave?”
“I think you might be right, Kev, we should probably get out of here and come pick him up later, maybe in a couple of hours, maybe in a couple of days-”
“I didn't hit him that hard!” Lisa protested. “Come on, you guys can't even take a little tap? I was just showing him who's the boss around here. Me. Right?”
Drew grunted from the bed. Whether he was agreeing with her or not, I didn't know, and I didn't want to know. “You know a tap like that is exquisitely painful? It's probably an order of magnitude worse than just slamming your knee up there. He's probably going to be there for a while,” I told her, against my better judgment. Giving her more information like that might backfire someday.
Max shook his head as we both moved toward the door. “He might throw up in your bed,” he added.
“He better not! I'll do it again!” Lisa snapped. Drew grunted and curled up more. “But I don't think he will, because he's learned his lesson, and now we can start over. Right, Drew?”
I looked straight at her. “Lisa, you're one scary chick.”
She beamed. “I know! Guys think they can walk all over me because I'm tiny. But you know what? A girl has to think about her reputation. And you're going to think twice before you ever stand a girl up now, right?”
Max and I looked at each other. “I hate to admit it, but she's got a point,” he said. I nodded.
“Like you'd ever get a date, Max!” Jess laughed directly at him.
“Are you saying you'd never go out with me?” he asked.
“I wouldn't say never,” she said. “But I don't think you'd survive to be the last man on earth, so it's sort of a moot point.”
“Hey, that's harsh, I'm date material,” Max protested. “You know that. Hey, Drew, back me up here. Date material, right?” Drew groaned and declined to answer. “Kev? Back me up, man. I'm counting on you.”
“I don't know about that. I wouldn't date you.”
“What if I was a girl?”
“Max, you'd be a really ugly