The Falstaff Vampire Files Read Online Free Page A

unionist. But as a kid when I found Abraham Van Helsing in Dracula , I got interested in the culture. It’s a pretty good stand-in for whatever you’re afraid of. In the 1930s it was sinister Europeans like Bela Lugosi in the old movies. Lately vampires and blood-drinking are a metaphor for sex.” Bram settled back on the sofa. “Who knows? Even if it were my calling to hunt vampires, there would be the small problem that there really aren’t any, so I have to make do.”
    “What are you researching now?”
    “I’ve written a few books on the so-called ‘real’ vampires, the history of the belief in the old country. Now I’m interviewing kids who are drawn to vampire cults. If you ever want to feel old, try interviewing a few dozen teenagers and twenty-year-olds.”
    I laughed. “The client who is into vampires is twenty-three.”
    “There you go. Graduates of Ann Rice University.”
    “What’s that?”
    “People who’ve read every book, seen every movie. Some even do the RPGs.”
    “Sorry, you’ve lapsed into Greek again.”
    He laughed. “Role Playing Games based on vampires. So far it’s all wishful thinking. But show me a real live vampire and I’ll get out the stakes and silver bullets and go to town.”
    “Or go to jail—you might have some trouble explaining the dead body.”
    “Oh, the legends all say that the body disintegrates into dust once it’s properly destroyed. So convenient.”
    I just managed a wan smile. “I wish I could have talked to you earlier. But for reasons that have nothing to do with vampires, I’m going to have to refer this client to another therapist. That’s part of what I need to talk to Larry about.”
    “Well, I’ll be in town for two weeks, so if there’s anything a certified vampire expert can help with, let me know.”
    “They have certificates for that sort of thing?”
    “I’m self-certified.” He smiled and patted me on the hand. “Sorry, I can see you’ve had a rough day. But Larry will be back and have you sorted out in no time.”
    “He has a way of doing that. Larry really saved my sanity during the months after my husband died.”
    “He’s a good ‘un.”
    “Are you talking about me, Bram? Hi, Kris.”
    Larry came bustling in. He was short, olive-skinned and brown-eyed. As long as I’d known him he had cut his hair close to his head to minimize a receding hairline, and he looked younger than his forty-some years. His smile always lit up a room. Just seeing him gave me a psychic jumpstart.
    “I’ll make a discreet exit here. I’ve been inflicting my family history on Kris, complete with its mythical vampire tradition.”
    “That whole stake-in-the-heart of the older male has always sounded distinctly Freudian to me,” Larry said
    Bram laughed and got up to go. “I promise not to bring back any vampires from my interview.”
    Larry draped his dry cleaning over a chair and came over to give me a hug.
    After hugging Larry hello, it seemed natural to hug Bram goodbye. “I’m glad to have met you, Bram, and thanks for the vampire insights.”
    “Hey, who you gonna call?”
    “You bust ghosts as well?”
    “No, I specialize.”
    “Okay, I will definitely call you if I run into any vampires.”
    “Please do.”
    I waited till I heard the outside door close before I turned to Larry. “Hal just got engaged to one of my clients.”
    “Oh, Kris.” Larry gave me another hug and then leaned back on the sofa and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I thought I’d heard everything. How did he meet her?”
    “I have no idea.”
    “What are you going to do? Aside from shooting Hal.”
    “I haven’t decided whether to tell her. I probably should. I do know I’ve got to refer her to another therapist.” I sighed. “Most of the people I know will know about me and Hal.”
    He shrugged. “You and Hal really are too good not to talk about. Older woman, younger man, reversing the usual gender clichés. Intriguing hints of Oedipal