The Dream Ender Read Online Free Page A

happen.”
    “Maybe you can take him home and tie him down,” Jonathan suggested with mock seriousness.
    Jared grinned. “Been there. Done that. Often,” he said. “But don’t think for one minute I won’t if that’s what it takes.”
    Jonathan’s comment had eased the general tension, and by unspoken mutual agreement, we switched the conversation to other topics.
    Jared left around eleven thirty to head over to Jake’s for the night. Normally, I would have invited him to stay with us, but now that Joshua had taken up residence in the guestroom, sleeping on the couch would have been a little impractical for someone Jared’s size. And I sensed that he would feel more comfortable at Jake’s.
    When he left, we merely exchanged hugs—I didn’t say anything about calling if there was something he or Jake needed or that we could possibly do to help. I’d already said that when we had lunch and there was no point in belaboring the obvious.
    We went to bed shortly after Jared left and neither of us said much. There really wasn’t anything either of us could think of to say. But as soon as we got into bed, Jonathan turned on his side facing away from me and reached behind him to take my hand and pull me into our favorite “spoon” position, my right arm around his chest and our clasped hands between his cheek and the pillow.
    And so we slept.
    *
    I really do try not to worry about things until I’m sure there is, indeed, something to worry about, but I couldn’t get Jake and Jared out of my mind. AIDS, as it was now being called, was like a gigantic stormcloud hovering over all our lives, with ominous flashes of lightning advancing over the horizon. But the prospect that it might strike someone close to me had been incomprehensible. I continued to tell myself that just because Jake had pneumonia didn’t automatically mean he had AIDS; I was probably worrying for nothing. But that didn’t keep me from worrying.
    Right after dinner on Friday we called Jake’s apartment and left a “just checking in” message. We figured Jared would be at the hospital until they kicked him out and that he’d get the message when he got back.
    “We’ve got to get tested,” Jonathan said after we’d returned to the living room from putting Joshua to bed.
    “You heard Jared. There isn’t one yet,” I said.
    “Why the hell isn’t there?” he demanded, and again the fact that he almost never swore showed the intensity of his feelings. “People are dying, and they can’t even test to see if they have it or not?”
    “They will,” I said.
    “Sure they will. You know as well as I do that the government doesn’t give a damn about a bunch of faggots dying. Good riddance! And I read that not everybody who has it gets sick right away, and they carry it around with them for who knows how long.”
    His bitterness was shared by much of the gay community. I knew that we’d both been pretty—well, promiscuous is kind of a prissy word, but it’s fairly accurate—before we met, and that could potentially be a problem. Even though we’d been monogamous since we first got together, I, too, had heard rumors that in some cases there was apparently a long incubation period.
    It was quite possible the disease—and we all thought of it as a disease now rather than a series of unrelated illnesses taking advantage of a weakened immune system—had been like a seed just waiting to germinate. Like just about everything else relating to that disease, no one knew how long the seeds had been waiting to germinate. But once they did, the Reaper was not far behind.
    I knew what was behind Jonathan’s concern, and he finally expressed it.
    “We’ve got Joshua to think about,” he said. “We’ve got to be sure we’ll be here for him until he grows up.”
    I reached out and took his hand. “We will be,” I said. “Trust me.”
    *
    Just before we went to bed, Jared called. Jake had responded well to conventional treatment, and his