The Craving Read Online Free Page B

still browsed want ads and corresponded with headhunters regularly. The search for work was a habit, but also a fantasy. He wanted to believe that if he could just get a job, everything would be okay, and the rest of his life would miraculously revert to normal. Simon checked Monster and a fewother websites, but he wasn’t particularly hopeful about anything. The job market in advertising was tough, especially for a thirty-nine-year-old at middle management level. After tweaking his LinkedIn profile and sending a couple of follow-up e-mails to headhunters who hadn’t gotten back to him or had simply lost interest, he got frustrated and watched some TV—
The Rachel Maddow Show
, DVR’d—until Alison came into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to him.
     
    “He’s playing alone and I need a break.” She let out a deep breath. “What a day. I’m totally zonked and my feet are killing me. Want to give me a foot massage?”
     
    Throughout their marriage Simon had been giving Alison foot massages when they watched TV. But since he’d become a werewolf Alison hadn’t asked him for massages, and he was glad because he knew that touching her feet, feeling the warmth of her skin on his fingertips, and breathing in that especially pungent aroma from such a close distance would be way too arousing.
     
    Simon knew Alison could tell he was hesitant. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said.
     
    He knew if he turned her down it would lead to a big discussion—
Why don’t you want to give me foot massages anymore? Don’t you want to touch me anymore?
—so he decided to give it a try.
     
    “What do you mean?” he said. “Of course I want to.”
     
    When she put her feet up on his lap and he caught the first whiff, he knew he’d made a big mistake. He was already getting turned on. Breathing through a corner of his mouth, he used his thumbs to knead her insteps.
     
    It felt incredible enough; it didn’t exactly help the situation when Alison said, “Oh God, that feels so amazing,” practically moaning, like they were having sex and she was on the verge of a powerful orgasm.
     
    Like a horny dog, Simon was suddenly aroused, but unlike when he was doing dishes, this time he couldn’t hide his excitement.
     
    “Wow, looks like I’m not the only one enjoying this,” Alison said.
     
    “Sorry,” Simon said, letting go of her feet.
     
    “You don’t have to apologize. You’re allowed to get turned on by your wife.”
     
    Actually he wasn’t allowed to get turned on by her. If he got too turned on, he might transform into a werewolf and rip her head open.
     
    “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” he said, shifting away.
     
    “Why?” she said. “Don’t you like it?”
     
    Here we go.
     
    “Of course I
like
it,” he said. “It has nothing to do with
liking
it.”
     
    Alison got up. Simon was relieved that he immediately felt a little less aroused.
     
    “Well, I’m not sure
what
it has to do with,” she said. “I mean, I know you have a disorder, and you’re going through a lot right now. But I don’t get why it has to do with me, why you’re afraid to have sex with your own—”
     
    “Can you keep your voice down?” Simon said, gesturing with his jaw toward Jeremy’s bedroom. Though Jeremy’s room was down the hallway, when he focused he could hear Jeremy playing with his train set, saying, “Choo choo, choo choo…”
     
    “He can’t hear me,” Alison said.
     
    Simon realized this was probably true, as she hadn’t been talking particularly loud.
     
    “Look,” he said. “The last thing I want is for you to feel offended. But, you know, I’m going through something very difficult right now, and it’s going to take time.”
     
    “So what has Dr. Levinson been saying about all this?”
     
    Dr. Levinson was a psychiatrist downtown whom Alison hadarranged for Simon to see, but Simon, unbeknownst to Alison, had stopped going after one