The Continent Makers and Other Tales of the Viagens Read Online Free Page B

took Fitzgerald by the arm.
    Fitzgerald cut loose with a swing that ended, splush, on the cop’s face, so that the policeman fell down on his back and lay there, moving a little and moaning. The other brothers got excited and seized both cops and threw them out the front door and bumpety-bump down the stone steps of the fraternity house. Then they went back to their pledge meeting.
    In five minutes four radio patrol cars stopped in front of the frat house and a dozen cops rushed in.
    The brothers, so belligerent a few minutes before, got out of the way at the sight of the clubs and blackjacks. Hands reached out of blue-clad sleeves towards Fitzgerald. He hit another cop and knocked him down, and then the hands fastened onto all his limbs and held him fast. When he persisted in struggling, a cop hit him on the head with a blackjack and he stopped.
    When he came to and calmed down, on the way to the police station, he asked: “What the hell is this all about? I tell you, I never stole nothing from a museum in my whole life!”
    “Oh yes you did,” said a cop. “It was the false teeth of one of them things from another planet. O’Riley, I think they call it. You was seen going into the museum around closing time, and you left your fingerprints all over the glass case when you busted it. Boy, this time we’ll sure throw the book at you! Damn college kids, think they’re better than other folks . . .”

    ###

    Next day, Herbert Lengyel got a letter:

    Dear Herb:
    When you read this I shall be en route to Osiris with the teeth of Chief Inspector Ficèsaqha, one of our greatest heroes. I managed to get a berth on a ship leaving for Pluto, whence I shall proceed to my own system on an Osirian interstellar liner.
    When Fitzgerald suggested I steal the teeth, the temptation to recover this relic, originally stolen by de Câmara, was irresistible. Not being an experienced burglar, I hypnotized Fitzgerald into doing the deed for me. Thus I killed three birds with one stone, as you Earthmen say. I got the teeth; I got even with Fitzgerald for his insults; and I got him in Dutch to give you a clear field with Miss Holm.
    I tell you this so you can save him from being expelled, as I do not think he deserves so harsh a penalty. I also gave you the Osirian hypnosis to remove some of your inhibitions, so you shall be able to handle your end of the project.
    I regret not having finished my course at Atlantic and not being finally initiated into Iota Gamma Omicron. However, my people will honor me for this deed, as we admire the refined sentiments.
    Fraternally,
    Hithafea

    Lengyel put the letter away and looked at himself in the mirror. He now understood why he had felt so light, daring, and self-confident the last few hours. Not like his old self at all. He grinned, brushed back his hair, and started for the house phone to call Alice.

    ###

    “So, chentlemen,” said Hithafea, “now you unterstant why I have decidet to sign your agreement as it stants. I shall perhaps be criticized for giffink in to you too easily. But you see, I am soft-heartet apout your planet. I have been on many planets, and nowhere have I peen taken in and mate to feel at home as I was py the Iota Gamma Omicron fraternity, many years ago.”
    The ambassador began to gather up his papers. “Have you a memorantum of this meetink for me to initial? Goot.” Hithafea signed, using his claw for a pen. “Then we can have a formal signink next week, eh? With cameras and speeches? Some tay if you feel like erecting a monument to the founders of the Interplanetary Council, you might erect it to Mr. Herbert Lengyel.”
    Evans said: “Sir, I’m told you Osirians like our Earthly alcoholic drinks. Would you care to step down to the Federation bar . . .”
    “I am so sorry, not this time. Next time, yes. Now I must catch an airplane to Baltimore, U.S.A.”
    “What are you doing there?” said Chagas.
    “Why, Atlantic University is giving me an honorary degree. How I