The Christmas Secret Read Online Free Page B

office door. “See you, Judy.”
    Judy leaned up and waved both hands in the air. “Bye-bye, handsome!” Jason closed the door and Marshall andJudy watched him through the large window as he dragged the suitcase down the stairs and through the main aisle of the store. “Well, you’re off to a great start,” Judy said, slapping Marshall’s shoulder.
    He turned to step back up to his office. “How many shoes do you have under that desk, anyway?”
    â€œIt was
awkward
!” she said, yelling at his back.
    Â 
    Idrove up to our duplex and noticed that every light was on in the place. I walked in and flipped off the light in the entry and around the corner in the hall. Allie was sitting on the sofa, watching television. “Hi, Allie.” I crossed the living room and threw my purse on the kitchen table. The place was a mess and I tried to hide my frustration. “How were the kids?”
    Allie stood and gathered her things. “Great. I can’t come tomorrow, Christine.”
    â€œWhat? I asked you weeks ago if you could work and you said yes.”
    â€œI know but my mom wants to take us to a huge outlet mall an hour away to start shopping for Christmas.”
    I felt a pain at the back of my head. “I don’t know anyone else to call. That’s why I set this up with you a long time ago.”
    She opened the door. “I’m really sorry. My mom said it’s the only day she can take us before Christmas.”
    She closed the door and I yanked open the kitchen drawer, pulling out wads of coupons and miscellaneous notes. “I
cannot
believe this!” I said, yelling up to the ceiling. I swore at that moment that I’d never use Allie again but I knew my hands were tied. A stack of bills sat by the phone and I flung them to the floor. I couldn’t even bear the sight of them. I found the scribbled note I was looking for and dialed the number. “Hi, Elaine, this is Christine Eisley. We met at Patterson’s when you came in a few weeks ago.”
    â€œOh, sure, hi,” she said.
    â€œYou said to call you if I ever needed your daughter to babysit and I need someone at ten thirty in the morning.”
    â€œI’ll check with her and have her call you back.”
    I hung up and tried to take a deep breath. I stepped back onto a stuffed toy and kicked it out of the way. “Zach! Haley!”
    â€œComing,” Zach said.
    I waited a second but didn’t hear the bedroom door open. “Now, now, now!” I shouted, storming into the living room. “Get out here right now!” I hated myself for taking my anger out on them. Zach and Haley ran down the hall to the living room and I pointed at the toys on the floor. “Put all of these away.”
    Haley held up her stuffed dog to me. “Genevieve did it.”
    â€œI don’t care who did it,” I said, my voice quivering. “Get these toys out of here!”
    They started to gather the toys in their arms and carry them down the hall. I wanted to go to them and apologize for yelling but I couldn’t. I was frustrated and weary and unable to move. Time and again I find myself fighting and scraping to keep my head above water and have been ready to give the whole thing up. I have told myself that the kids would be better off somewhere else with someone who can provide everything they need. I am barely equipped to take care of myself, let alone two other people whose lives depend on me. I have questioned if I am doing the right thing or making the best decisions. So many times I have felt like a babe in the woods the way I kept getting lost on the wrong roads, and my bad decisions still affected me . . . and my kids. They deserved better. I knew that. The doorbell rang and I moved to the door, trying to peer out the window. I could see the top of a man’s head but didn’t know who it was.
    â€œHello,” I said through the