The Break-Up Psychic Read Online Free Page B

decided not to tell Amber about Tim and me, but Brook’s face is practically begging for some solidarity, and I can’t hold back.
    “Actually, Tim and I broke up.”
    Amber immediately puts down the magazine she’s been reading and rushes over to the counter. I wish I could say this was out of some sort of sisterly affection between us, but I know how much she loves misery. I really can’t deny her this small pleasure.
    “What do you mean you and Tim broke up?” Brook asks, her sad expression replaced with eager excitement, her eyes wide at the prospect of fresh gossip.
    “You and Tim, perfect Tim, broke up?” Amber’s tone is far too happy sounding. “I knew it! When you didn’t come back from lunch yesterday I knew something had happened. Did you catch him in the act, Karl style?”
    “Actually, yes, I did.”
    “You didn’t come back after lunch yesterday?” Brook asks, suddenly more invested in business rather than the tragedy of my breakup. “Did you remember to clock out?”
    “Nice, Brook. She tells you she caught her man in the act with another woman, and all you care about is her timecard?”
    “Of course not, Amber, but I do have a business to run!” Brook spits back. Seeing my teary eyes she immediately changes gears and places a conciliatory hand on my forearm. “Come on, sugar, tell your Aunty Brook what happened.”
    Aunty Brook, my ass.
    “He’s been sleeping with one of our neighbors. I don’t know how long it’s been going on, but it’s definitely over between us.”
    “What’d I tell you? Men are scum,” Amber says.
    “I said that.”
    “Whatever, the point is that now we’re all single and we’re free to go out and flirt with every man in Harlow County,” says Amber.
    “In your case, Amber, I’m guessing flirting means tying a guy up with chains and whipping him until he cries for his mommy?” asks Brook.
    Amber’s smile is devilish, and she lets the accusation hang in the air as she makes her way back to the corner.
    “Listen, baby, I’m real sorry about you and Tim but I think it’s for the best, you know? And I think I’ve got the perfect man for you,” says Brook.
    “No, thank you! I think I’m done with men for a while. Anyway, I’ve made a new resolution not to date any more of my ‘type,’” I say, fingers raised in quotation marks. “This is the beginning of a whole new Ellie. From now on, no more bad boys.”
    “Well then, this is perfect because he ain’t a bad boy! He’s my Cousin Peg’s kid. He’s got a real good job with the state government, he has all his own hair, and not for nothing, he serves as a junior deacon at United Methodist over on Cherry Avenue.” Brook’s smile sometimes scares me more than Amber’s. All I need is to become her new pet project. God or deacon help me.
    “Thanks, but no thanks,” I say. “I think I need to be on my own for a while.”
    “Now don’t you worry, I’ll sort out everything. I just know you’re going to love him!” Brook pats me on the arm and moves away, her eyes glazed over in pet-project euphoria. My psychic senses are already telling me this will lead nowhere good.

    “Hey, honey, how was your day?” Luanne calls from the kitchen as I walk through the front door.
    “Well, Brook broke it off with the Kar King and then I licked her wrist. Other than that, same-old, same-old.”
    Luanne saunters into the living room carrying two plates of spaghetti, hands one to me and sits down on the sofa, her face stony as a granite quarry.
    “Still better than my day. My truck broke down on the way to work and I couldn’t call anybody for help because I forgot to charge my dang cell-phone last night. By the time I made it to the bank that fat old bat Cara Lynn fired me for being late again. I told her, ‘That’s fine with me but I ain’t withdrawing my ass from this bank until someone calls me a tow truck!’”
    “Oh no! Where’s your truck now?”
    “It’s down at that body shop on 5 th