The Book of Emmett Read Online Free Page A
Author: Deborah Forster
Tags: Family & Relationships/General
Louisa reckons the coffin in the hearse seems far too final for something connected to Emmett.
She looks over at her mother and her brothers and Jessie, slim and tawny as a lioness today, and thinks, well, freedom opens many doors and we will be free of him. She walks over to Rob and Peter and puts an arm around each brother. Thereâs a space in them where the tears have been sheltering. Each of them feels exposed, thereâs been too much crying today and all feel weakened by the display. The worst of it is that they know people believe theyâve been weeping for their father and that they are simply bereaved by his death.
The truth is something else. Louisa closes her eyes and sees a flash of him in the kitchen, the light streaming in, making them fill his beer glass and God help them if they spilled a drop. Beating them, terrorising them, humiliating or exalting them â and she still doesnât know which was worse.
And the sad irony is that she realised this wasnât love only when she was far too old to have such doubts. She feels a pulse of rage at the pathetic man in the coffin. And then recalls his shaggy grey head, sees him old and stumbling in the hostel before he died, and once again pity for the poor old bastard takes the place of rage.
And she realises how tainted is anything connected with Emmett. Themselves included. With their arms around each other, their heads down, the four of them so different, yet so united by their father. They feel the strength of each other. They meet eyes and recognise their oldest grief â for a stolen childhood.
Before the hearse moves off, Peter reaches out and puts his hand on the back of the thing. He doesnât want to let him go, wants to keep Emmett with him, and he couldnât explain it even to himself but he understands there will be no slowing this completion. A wash of boiled afternoon sun is sifting through the gauzy dust as the hearse moves off slowly and makes its way towards the crematorium at Altona, further west again. As it climbs Mount Mistake, Peter is the only one of them to be glad that the old man will have one last view of his great, flat, baking city before the darkening sky closes over them, but then Peter has a forgiving nature.
2
Louisaâs first memory is of a plate of food lifting through the kitchen then ramming into a wall and sliding down slowly with the suction of a squid. Other times the plate would leap off the wall and smash into a tangle of sharpness and food. Apparently Emmett doesnât like pumpkin. Or bastard chops. Canât you get it through your head that heâs sick to fucking death of chops?
âFor Godâs sake!â he roars, âCanât a man have a decent fucking meal ready for him you pathetic bitch? Is that too much to ask after a hard fucking day at work? You slave your guts out every fucking day and you come home to this putrid slop.â You can see heâs briefly pleased with something and if Louisa were older she would reason that it was probably the word âputridâ, an excellent choice if harsh in this context. Still, he wastes no time gloating about good words now because heâs in full flight, holding her small mother by the face.
âIs this good? No. What is this? I donât know, I donât...â The smacking sounds are loud and hard. Her mother is on her knees. Louisa is nearly two and Rob about one. The screaming that goes with the throwing has been eliminated and the plates slide in a resounding silence. The child has stopped hearing. Her eyes are doing all the work now, pulling in images like a satellite dish. She must stay quiet, stay small and stay near her brother. She must not watch the hurting.
Right from the very beginning she understands that one day Emmett will kill her or one of them or all of them and then itâll be their own fault. The certainty of it edges into her life. He is the paw of the bear on her head, heavy with
She looks over at her mother and her brothers and Jessie, slim and tawny as a lioness today, and thinks, well, freedom opens many doors and we will be free of him. She walks over to Rob and Peter and puts an arm around each brother. Thereâs a space in them where the tears have been sheltering. Each of them feels exposed, thereâs been too much crying today and all feel weakened by the display. The worst of it is that they know people believe theyâve been weeping for their father and that they are simply bereaved by his death.
The truth is something else. Louisa closes her eyes and sees a flash of him in the kitchen, the light streaming in, making them fill his beer glass and God help them if they spilled a drop. Beating them, terrorising them, humiliating or exalting them â and she still doesnât know which was worse.
And the sad irony is that she realised this wasnât love only when she was far too old to have such doubts. She feels a pulse of rage at the pathetic man in the coffin. And then recalls his shaggy grey head, sees him old and stumbling in the hostel before he died, and once again pity for the poor old bastard takes the place of rage.
And she realises how tainted is anything connected with Emmett. Themselves included. With their arms around each other, their heads down, the four of them so different, yet so united by their father. They feel the strength of each other. They meet eyes and recognise their oldest grief â for a stolen childhood.
Before the hearse moves off, Peter reaches out and puts his hand on the back of the thing. He doesnât want to let him go, wants to keep Emmett with him, and he couldnât explain it even to himself but he understands there will be no slowing this completion. A wash of boiled afternoon sun is sifting through the gauzy dust as the hearse moves off slowly and makes its way towards the crematorium at Altona, further west again. As it climbs Mount Mistake, Peter is the only one of them to be glad that the old man will have one last view of his great, flat, baking city before the darkening sky closes over them, but then Peter has a forgiving nature.
2
Louisaâs first memory is of a plate of food lifting through the kitchen then ramming into a wall and sliding down slowly with the suction of a squid. Other times the plate would leap off the wall and smash into a tangle of sharpness and food. Apparently Emmett doesnât like pumpkin. Or bastard chops. Canât you get it through your head that heâs sick to fucking death of chops?
âFor Godâs sake!â he roars, âCanât a man have a decent fucking meal ready for him you pathetic bitch? Is that too much to ask after a hard fucking day at work? You slave your guts out every fucking day and you come home to this putrid slop.â You can see heâs briefly pleased with something and if Louisa were older she would reason that it was probably the word âputridâ, an excellent choice if harsh in this context. Still, he wastes no time gloating about good words now because heâs in full flight, holding her small mother by the face.
âIs this good? No. What is this? I donât know, I donât...â The smacking sounds are loud and hard. Her mother is on her knees. Louisa is nearly two and Rob about one. The screaming that goes with the throwing has been eliminated and the plates slide in a resounding silence. The child has stopped hearing. Her eyes are doing all the work now, pulling in images like a satellite dish. She must stay quiet, stay small and stay near her brother. She must not watch the hurting.
Right from the very beginning she understands that one day Emmett will kill her or one of them or all of them and then itâll be their own fault. The certainty of it edges into her life. He is the paw of the bear on her head, heavy with
Readers choose
Margaret Madigan
Ilie Ruby
Kelliea Ashley
Threes Anna
Fiona Buckley
Andrea K Höst
Terry Goodkind
Laran Mithras
Lauren K. McKellar
Deausha Kristal