though there was nothing going on between us that I could speak of, we were bound together in this union forever.
Besides, it could have been George's baby. Though he was an older man, that didn't mean anything. Perhaps Sebastian's reaction was solely of disgust.
After all, he was so distraught when he found out about their engagement... or was that only because he was so attracted to Alissa and had already slept with her?
If that was the case, why didn't he marry her then? Why did he have to marry me and drag me into all of this?
Tears were building frantically inside of me, breath coming short and harsh.
I so badly needed answers, I so badly needed Sebastian to walk in that door and set everything right again.
I didn't want to sit and watch Alissa walk down the aisle all by myself.
My needed my husband, I needed Sebastian right now.
Unfortunately for me, my mental pleading cries did not reach him, and he did not come to me.
Somehow, I managed to gather myself together take a shower. The entire time the warm water rushed all over me, caressing every inch of my exposed body, I listened closely for the swing of the door or the sound of Sebastian's firm feet on the carpet.
All that I could hear, however, was the occasional call of a seagull outside our balcony.
As I dressed in a knee length aqua colored sundress that I'd chosen because it matched the color of Sebastian's eyes, I gazed out the open doors of our balcony, inhaling the salty taste of the air.
I'd always liked the beach, though I'd rarely ever gone growing up. I could count on a single hand how many times I'd stood on sandy dunes, letting the cool rush of water swallow my feet whole.
I could remember, vaguely, going with my parents. They both held my hands, swinging me over waves as I shrieked with laughter.
Would I still remember that fond recollection next time I went to the beach, or would I only think of how painful this experience had been?
I supposed it all depended on when Sebastian returned to me. If at all.
Walking out onto the balcony, I gazed down at the golden sand glittering like yellow diamonds below. Even from up on the balcony, I could see the soft scuttling of a crab creeping away from where a large white arch had been set up. Blue flowers tangled intot the ivory drapes as the softly billowed in the warm wind. I couldn't help but to relax under the watchful gaze of the sun as it kissed my shoulders as gently as a lover, warming me.
It was going to be a gorgeous day for a wedding.
Even if Sebastian had disappeared, I told myself, everything was going to be alright. It had to, on such a beautiful afternoon. I had to somehow cling to that hope. It was all I had right now.
Below me, I could see people beginning to drift out onto the sand of the beach, heading towards the chairs. A small band with a violin began setting up to the left of the decorated arch
It was time to be seated for the wedding.
Still, I lingered for a second, intensely observing the tops of the guests' heads. None of them matched my dark haired husband.
Sighing to myself, I turned, slowly exiting the room. With a long, minimally anticipative glance up and down the hall, I retreated to the elevator and sank to the lower floor.
Listlessly, I followed the small crowd of people onto the beach and found an empty seat. I set my purse beside me, just for the chance that Sebastian would decide to join me last minute.
I'd been fortunate this morning, I realized, as I sat down and glanced around at the strangers, I hadn’t experienced any morning sickness at all. It was a miracle really, or perhaps I was finally leaving that stage of my pregnancy behind. I was approaching the second trimester after all.
One of my hands pressed to my belly as I crossed my leg over knee. I'd start showing soon. Maybe then Sebastian would be more willing to talk about the pregnancy instead of turning slightly green. Or maybe he would just vanish all the more, afraid to look at me.
Or