The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies Read Online Free Page B
Author: David Lubar
Skantz. It was going to be kind of hard to explain about Buzzy. I guess I was sorry weâd come to the carnival. But I was pretty glad I didnât eat the sausage.
YACKITY-YAK
H ey, Iâm sorry to bother you, but I have to talk to someone. Weâre both waiting for the bus anyhow, so I hope you wonât mind. I donât think the next oneâs coming for a half hour. Okay if we talk?
âGreat. Iâm Linda, by the way. I think we go to the same middle school. Iâve seen you in the halls. You might have seen me, but Iâd understand if you didnât notice me. Nobody notices me. Thatâs how my big problem started. I was getting all sad and depressed because it seemed Iâd have to go through life just not being popular or anything. Then I found this book in the used-book store. It had fallen behind one of the shelves. I had the feeling it had been there for ages. It was a book of spells.
âI know that stuff can be dangerous, but I was sort of desperate. So I looked through it, and there was a whole section of social spells, like how to make a guy fall in love with you, and how to win a contest. But I really didnât want any guy to fall in love with me at the time, and there wasnât any contest I needed to win. I just wanted a better social life.
âI found a spell that promised to make me fascinating. I knew that would do the trick. HeyâI notice you keep looking at your watch. So I guess you already figured out that Iâm not fascinating. Iâm my usual old boring self.
âIf you guessed that I messed up the spell, youâre right. The ingredients were pretty simple, except for the batâs wing. Iâm not even going to tell you how I got one of those. Anyhow, I mixed it all up in a copper bowl, just like the book says, then put it in a shallow pan in the oven. Luckily, itâs not something you have to drink. No way Iâm drinking anything thatâs got a batâs wing in it. You just boil it up, and then wait for it to cool and dip your left hand in it.
âSo I did all of that, and Iâm all set to be popular. But the moment I dipped my hand in the mixture, I started talking. I guess youâve noticed Iâve barely stopped to take a breath.
âWhatâs this about? I ask myself. I check the spell really carefully, and I notice that I was supposed to use a toadstool taken from a graveyard. But I guess what I used was a mushroom or something. Iâm not even sure what the difference is. The point is, I didnât cast the spell I wanted. So now I donât know what to do.
âThatâs a nice watch, by the way. I guess weâve been here for a while. The bus should be coming pretty soon.
âAnyhow. I looked through the book, page by page, and I found another spell that was close to mine. This one was just like the one for popularity, except that it used a mushroom instead of a toadstool. As I said, I really donât know the difference. But, obviously, I ended up making the wrong spell. Unfortunately, this one wasnât in the social section. It was in the section for dealing with enemies.
âThis spell lets you talk. Actually, it makes you talk. Sohere I am, forced to keep talking. Iâve been talking for three days, now. I canât stop. Let me tell you, this is definitely not the way to become popular. Iâm sure not messing with any more spells. Not ever.
âBut the good thing is that the spell doesnât last forever. Itâs pretty easy to remove. Well, maybe not pretty easy, but it can be removed.
âOh, look, the bus is coming.
âAnyhow, all I have to do to remove it is find someone who will listen to me for half an hour. Well, actually, it doesnât get removed. It sort of gets transferred.
âI guess I donât have anything else to say. Thanks for listening. Whatâs that? Iâm sorry, I really donât feel like hearing anyone elseâs chatter.
YACKITY-YAK
H ey, Iâm sorry to bother you, but I have to talk to someone. Weâre both waiting for the bus anyhow, so I hope you wonât mind. I donât think the next oneâs coming for a half hour. Okay if we talk?
âGreat. Iâm Linda, by the way. I think we go to the same middle school. Iâve seen you in the halls. You might have seen me, but Iâd understand if you didnât notice me. Nobody notices me. Thatâs how my big problem started. I was getting all sad and depressed because it seemed Iâd have to go through life just not being popular or anything. Then I found this book in the used-book store. It had fallen behind one of the shelves. I had the feeling it had been there for ages. It was a book of spells.
âI know that stuff can be dangerous, but I was sort of desperate. So I looked through it, and there was a whole section of social spells, like how to make a guy fall in love with you, and how to win a contest. But I really didnât want any guy to fall in love with me at the time, and there wasnât any contest I needed to win. I just wanted a better social life.
âI found a spell that promised to make me fascinating. I knew that would do the trick. HeyâI notice you keep looking at your watch. So I guess you already figured out that Iâm not fascinating. Iâm my usual old boring self.
âIf you guessed that I messed up the spell, youâre right. The ingredients were pretty simple, except for the batâs wing. Iâm not even going to tell you how I got one of those. Anyhow, I mixed it all up in a copper bowl, just like the book says, then put it in a shallow pan in the oven. Luckily, itâs not something you have to drink. No way Iâm drinking anything thatâs got a batâs wing in it. You just boil it up, and then wait for it to cool and dip your left hand in it.
âSo I did all of that, and Iâm all set to be popular. But the moment I dipped my hand in the mixture, I started talking. I guess youâve noticed Iâve barely stopped to take a breath.
âWhatâs this about? I ask myself. I check the spell really carefully, and I notice that I was supposed to use a toadstool taken from a graveyard. But I guess what I used was a mushroom or something. Iâm not even sure what the difference is. The point is, I didnât cast the spell I wanted. So now I donât know what to do.
âThatâs a nice watch, by the way. I guess weâve been here for a while. The bus should be coming pretty soon.
âAnyhow. I looked through the book, page by page, and I found another spell that was close to mine. This one was just like the one for popularity, except that it used a mushroom instead of a toadstool. As I said, I really donât know the difference. But, obviously, I ended up making the wrong spell. Unfortunately, this one wasnât in the social section. It was in the section for dealing with enemies.
âThis spell lets you talk. Actually, it makes you talk. Sohere I am, forced to keep talking. Iâve been talking for three days, now. I canât stop. Let me tell you, this is definitely not the way to become popular. Iâm sure not messing with any more spells. Not ever.
âBut the good thing is that the spell doesnât last forever. Itâs pretty easy to remove. Well, maybe not pretty easy, but it can be removed.
âOh, look, the bus is coming.
âAnyhow, all I have to do to remove it is find someone who will listen to me for half an hour. Well, actually, it doesnât get removed. It sort of gets transferred.
âI guess I donât have anything else to say. Thanks for listening. Whatâs that? Iâm sorry, I really donât feel like hearing anyone elseâs chatter.
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