The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas Read Online Free Page B
Author: Robin Harvie
adults, leaving him more time to stuff his face with mince pies. I guess Father Christmas just had a better union.
I think I partly wanted to become a mermaid because of the biblical story of Noah’s Ark—if it happened again, at least I’d be able to swim away. I had always been a bit worried about this story from an animal rights perspective: the other children enjoyed the bit where the animals went in two by two, but I felt sorry for those who hadn’t made it onto the ark. For them, it must have been like an animal-based Titanic . My one consolation was the fact that all the sea creatures (including dolphins and sea horses) would have survived.
I officially called myself an atheist from the age of ten. I was the only atheist in my class, but the other kids and I did agree on one thing: I wasn’t going to heaven. (Though my reasoning was that you couldn’t go somewhere that didn’t exist.)
I had one ally in our physics teacher (who was an atheist, even though it was a Church of England school). He told us the various things humans have believed about the world, from it being flat to the sun going round the earth, and also told us about the various scientists who had been killed or imprisoned for making new discoveries that went against the doctrine of the church at the time.
He also made a joke that delighted me. Gesturing at the whiteboard, he said, “People used to believe that heaven was up here, earth was in the middle, flat, and hell was down there, below Earth. Which of course we now know can’t be true, because hot air rises, and all the people in heaven would have got burned.”
This teacher said that science was like a box, and that we could never open its lid. We could, however, investigate in other ways: we could conduct experiments and try to re-create events to get the same results. So we could build an identical box, the same weight and size, and say, “I have discovered what is in the box”; but then, if the first box suddenly turned green but our box didn’t, we would have to conclude, “Okay, I was wrong,” and start again to try to make our own box go green. In this way science was always learning, changing, and expanding, but admitted to not being absolute.
When I heard that the money from this book was going to go to the HIV charity Terrence Higgins Trust, I was really glad it was going to such a fantastic and worthwhile cause. And it seems appropriate that money raised from a book by atheists is going toward humans helping humans, in both a literal and practical sense.
December is historically a time when humans have a festival to cheer them up because the sun has gone, and Christmas holds the current title. Christmas has done well, to its credit. It’s beaten off the competition and is the reigning champion.
There’s also a lot to be said for Christmas. The high spirits, good food, and bringing people together are excellent things for humans. Although anyone who says it is the greatest story ever told clearly hasn’t read Watchmen .
Now that I am an adult, I can look back on the things that used to make me feel confused, alienated, and excluded as an atheist, and take the positives. And in retrospect, sending a Christmas card to the Devil is ironically possibly the most Christian thing you can do—what with all those parables about turning the other cheek.
So my advice to anyone wanting to celebrate an atheist Christmas would be: imagine there’s no heaven, then try to have a good time in spite of everything.
Chapter 6
Losing My Faith
S IMON L E B ON
I love Christmas. I always have, ever since I was a child. Back then, Christmas was all about the Baby Jesus—my parents encouraged belief in him. But even if they hadn’t, church and school—which were both Church of England—would have greatly influenced my beliefs.
School was very Christian. At Christmas, we had Nativity plays, but I never got a good role in them. I think I was a sheep. I always believed I was
I think I partly wanted to become a mermaid because of the biblical story of Noah’s Ark—if it happened again, at least I’d be able to swim away. I had always been a bit worried about this story from an animal rights perspective: the other children enjoyed the bit where the animals went in two by two, but I felt sorry for those who hadn’t made it onto the ark. For them, it must have been like an animal-based Titanic . My one consolation was the fact that all the sea creatures (including dolphins and sea horses) would have survived.
I officially called myself an atheist from the age of ten. I was the only atheist in my class, but the other kids and I did agree on one thing: I wasn’t going to heaven. (Though my reasoning was that you couldn’t go somewhere that didn’t exist.)
I had one ally in our physics teacher (who was an atheist, even though it was a Church of England school). He told us the various things humans have believed about the world, from it being flat to the sun going round the earth, and also told us about the various scientists who had been killed or imprisoned for making new discoveries that went against the doctrine of the church at the time.
He also made a joke that delighted me. Gesturing at the whiteboard, he said, “People used to believe that heaven was up here, earth was in the middle, flat, and hell was down there, below Earth. Which of course we now know can’t be true, because hot air rises, and all the people in heaven would have got burned.”
This teacher said that science was like a box, and that we could never open its lid. We could, however, investigate in other ways: we could conduct experiments and try to re-create events to get the same results. So we could build an identical box, the same weight and size, and say, “I have discovered what is in the box”; but then, if the first box suddenly turned green but our box didn’t, we would have to conclude, “Okay, I was wrong,” and start again to try to make our own box go green. In this way science was always learning, changing, and expanding, but admitted to not being absolute.
When I heard that the money from this book was going to go to the HIV charity Terrence Higgins Trust, I was really glad it was going to such a fantastic and worthwhile cause. And it seems appropriate that money raised from a book by atheists is going toward humans helping humans, in both a literal and practical sense.
December is historically a time when humans have a festival to cheer them up because the sun has gone, and Christmas holds the current title. Christmas has done well, to its credit. It’s beaten off the competition and is the reigning champion.
There’s also a lot to be said for Christmas. The high spirits, good food, and bringing people together are excellent things for humans. Although anyone who says it is the greatest story ever told clearly hasn’t read Watchmen .
Now that I am an adult, I can look back on the things that used to make me feel confused, alienated, and excluded as an atheist, and take the positives. And in retrospect, sending a Christmas card to the Devil is ironically possibly the most Christian thing you can do—what with all those parables about turning the other cheek.
So my advice to anyone wanting to celebrate an atheist Christmas would be: imagine there’s no heaven, then try to have a good time in spite of everything.
Chapter 6
Losing My Faith
S IMON L E B ON
I love Christmas. I always have, ever since I was a child. Back then, Christmas was all about the Baby Jesus—my parents encouraged belief in him. But even if they hadn’t, church and school—which were both Church of England—would have greatly influenced my beliefs.
School was very Christian. At Christmas, we had Nativity plays, but I never got a good role in them. I think I was a sheep. I always believed I was
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