The Adventures of Jack Lime Read Online Free Page B

Kutcher’s little brother?” he said. “Man, doesn’t that kid still ride around on a tricycle?” The crowd laughed again. “Let me tell you something, Lime. Nobody’s in the market for that kid’s bike. That’s small time. Real small time, and Bucky King ain’t small time. And, Sandra, she ain’t small time, either. She’s a real sweet girl,” he said, giving me a wink.
    I stamped on Big Head’s toes. He yelped, and I tried to slip out of his grip, but he was too strong.
    â€œDon’t like that, Lime?” Bucky said, stepping close to me. “Well, you really ain’t going to like this news flash, big man: me and Sandra used to hook up.”
    â€œI don’t believe you,” I said.
    â€œIt’s true.” Bucky grinned. “She couldn’t get enough of me, but I had to break it off. She got kind of boring, a little needy. But I’ll tell you, Lime,” Bucky said, squeezing my cheeks into the kind of pucker my crazy Aunt April used to force on me when I was a little kid, “she was one hell of a kisser.”
    â€œI don’t buy it, Bucky,” I slurred through the pucker. “You’re too ugly.”
    Bucky’s eyes blazed, and he chomped down on his cigarette. I was sure another punch was on its way, but at the last moment, he stopped himself and stepped back. “Toss him in the river with the rest of the trash,” he said, flicking the butt of his cigarette into the darkness. I watched the orange tip fly away and then sizzle in the black water of the Iona River. Big Head grabbed me around my chest, and Sneer grabbed my feet.
    I kicked. I thrashed. I fought the good fight, and I wish I could tell you I escaped, but that would be a lie. They started swinging me back and forth, building momentum. “One … two … three!” they hollered. For a moment, I was flying through the air, and then I hit the water.
    Bucky and his cronies thought this was all just fun and games. They’d toss me in the river, and I’d struggle out, soaking wet, with my tail between my legs, and never bother them again. Problem was they didn’t know I was prone to falling asleep at the worst times. So a simple dip in the Iona River suddenly got very serious when I felt my condition kicking in. Just before I drifted off to Never-Never Land, I saw someone diving in the water, then everything went black.
    I dreamed I was sitting on the bottom of the river. A purple grizzly bear rode by on Ronny’s bike — banana seat, streamers and all. As he drove past me, he yelled, “Find the bike, Jack.” I tried to say, “No thanks, bear,” but my mouth filled up with water. That’s when my dream took a turn for the worse. The purple bear was gone. Instead, I was staring into the face of a hideous green monster. It was descending on me, its mouth wide open, like it was going to bite my face off. I tried to scream, but choked instead.
    â€œOh, thank God,” the monster said, leaning back. “I really didn’t want to give you mouth-to-mouth.”
    That’s when I realized this wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t under water; I was lying in the black mud on the banks of the river, with Colonel Crazy from the path kneeling beside me, apparently about to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
    â€œI owe you an apology, soldier,” he said. “I shouldn’t have forced you into being my mole. But I didn’t know that Bucky was going to go ballistic about a pair of night vision goggles. I mean, I know they’re not easy to get your hands on, but that whole situation was seriously snafu.”
    â€œNot … about … the goggles,” I said, coughing the words out.
    â€œYou know, soldier, I’m tired of all these good-for-nothing bums taking everyone’s stuff and nobody doing anything about it,” he said.
    â€œIt wasn’t about … goggles,” I