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all settled down at the table, still grinning
like idiots. Papa threw out a joke—a fuckin’ joke while eating. I couldn’t remember his having done such a thing
since I was a kid.
    Bastian’s chair across from me remained unoccupied, and I had to put up
with my siblings and their spouses making eyes at each other all evening. Hell,
even Papa and Mom smiled at each other from either end of the table, their eyes
full of love for the other. I scarfed down the pot roast Mom had made and
enjoyed a second helping of Tiramisu with my espresso while trying to ignore
the fuckin’ five-hundred pound dumbbell in my stomach.
    Across the table, Cole leaned down to whisper in Gwen’s ear, and she
blushed. He sipped his coffee and grinned. Beside me, Lia’s hand rubbed Ryan’s
upper thigh, squeezing and flexing. He draped his arm across the back of her
chair and tugged her close, his gaze enough to melt any woman’s panties. Hell,
even I found it hot. Pretty-boy Ryan would have been on my must-have list if
Lia hadn’t seen him first.
    Taken. Spoken for with words and an obvious energized tether of love.
All of them.
    I glanced around the table again. Fuck, was I missing out. Countless
partners and conquests beneath my belt, but not a damn one filled me with what my
family thrived on—the kind of love little girls dreamed about, that once in a
lifetime connection. A soulmate.
    I stretched my neck side to side, trying to clamp down where my
thoughts had been heading since I tasted Raquel’s lips. “I’m heading out.”
Always the last to arrive and the first to leave, my words didn’t seem to
surprise anyone.
    Hugs and kisses in goodbye lasted another full ten minutes while my
feet burned to get the hell out. I needed to cleanse my fuckin’ head and lose
myself in someone—anyone—before I decided to do something stupid.
    But, my mind was already made up. I wanted what they had and felt sure
Raquel could give it to me. If I gave
up the BDSM lifestyle and became a conservative, goodie-two-shoes.
    I cursed the entire twenty minutes home, knowing—just knowing —what Theo would say when I
bailed on him come Friday night.

 
    Chapter Six
     
    Mind and body remembering the feel of Zane’s mouth, I stared at the
to-do list Cole had scribbled on a legal pad. The words hazed together as
arousal swept through me, and I clenched my eyes shut. The outer office door
swished open, and lips pursed, I pushed up my glasses and lifted my head.
    Zane stood inside the door, arms crossed and staring at me with a
strange look on his face, one void of the usual hunger and sexy cockiness. My
heartbeat sped up as he continued to peer at me in silence. He almost appeared
… afraid.
    Emboldened by his unusual display of insecurity, I raised an eyebrow
and waited.
      “I’ve been going about this all
wrong.” A deep inhale swelled his chest, and he dropped his arms to his sides.
“I need to meet your father.”
    I lifted my brow farther. “Why?”
    “I need to ask him something.”
    Anxiety snaked its way through my stomach. “What?”
    “I’d like his permission to … court you.” Zane’s lips twisted as though
the word sickened him, and I stifled a laugh with my hand.
    “And why would you want to do that?” I asked once I knew I wouldn’t
giggle.
    An unnaturally shy smile lifted his luscious lips, and I almost swooned
in my chair. Zane Risso and shy, unsure of himself. Crazy dangerous.
    He took a few steps closer to my desk, but didn’t loom above me as he’d
seemed to be fond of doing. A quick glance at Cole’s closed door, and he turned
his unsmiling face my way again. “I want to court you—date—or whatever your
parents call it. I’ll talk to them. Ask permission. Do whatever I’ve got to do.”
    Good Lord, was he sincere, or launching a new plan to get me naked? I
stared at him, my stomach tightened, anxiety twisting. “I’m not the kind of
girl you’re looking for, Zane.” I kept my voice low, but only because